Wednesday, August 15, 2007

3 Days In

I am surviving. Though I still don't know what to do with the minus one factor. Day One I took What Not To Wear to school, she sat at her table and said "bye." And I contained my tears until I left the classroom. Then I proceeded to eat all the live long day. The grandparents took me out to breakfast, Cpt Mom (everyone's superhero) took me to gelato, and we took our kindergirl to Famous Dave's for some corn on the cob, which she ate with pure glee.

Day Two my girl cried as I was doing her hair but promptly left my sight when she heard the kinder playground beckoning her. She's pretty much an adult now. Hardly needs me for anything.

This change in our life is sending me into a tailspin of second helpings of dessert. Out of all the struggles and battles, THIS is the thing that is sending me back to emotional eating. What's a mom to do? I've seriously contemplated homeschooling her everyday this week. Dirty Jobs is not adjusting to so much time without sissy. My Deadliest Catch just said, "It's weird not having her here." Well spoken, dad. So eloquent. My heart is devastated. I feel like I'm feeding her to the wolves. And yet, everyday, she returns home excited to share about her coloring, recess and new friends.

I think I may need some counseling over this...


CPT Mom said...

It is hard to trust this cold world with such a precious gift. The beauty of it, is the Lord is with her even when you are not. He loves her precious spirit even more than you do and He will protect that fun, God-loving little girl heart of hers.

I know it is hard. Keep running your make Him proud.

Love you and your whole reality family :)