You know when you are chewing something sticky, let's say a laffy taffy, or a peanut butter sandwich, and you can't swallow it for awhile. Well, that's how my life has been lately. Actually, it's like that plus I feel like I keep adding bites to that without ever swallowing in between.
So basically, I look like I'm playing Chubby Bunny, spiritually speaking.
Of course, because of that, I'm also looking like chubby bunny in the flesh because I am retreating back to old bad habits of emotional eating. I'm really trying to grace myself, because life has crazy days (or months), but I can't help but feel defeated in my food issues. Do you think that could be a bleed out from how I am feeling spiritually? Hmm, I'm gonna go with a resounding Y.E.S.
So, until I can swallow a bit of this mouthful, I can't really share it...because I can't form a complete sentence about it all.
I would like to update on my play date of last week. It was pretty much wonderful. Mom of friend was so incredibly sweet. And I pretty much thought she was the coolest when her older son (What Not To Wear's friend) had a meltdown when it was time to go - it showed me the normalcy of families....everyone experiences those times and that was refreshing! Anyways, she was just so real. She just opened up and shared about her life and her kids, and it made it SO EASY to be vulnerable to her. She has a speech delayed son, and has passed on some excellent resources to me. As we got in the car to go home from the park, I was thanking God for such a gift of an afternoon. All of my fears were laid to rest, because, of course, He is trustworthy and I can trust that He is going to bring people into our lives that will encourage us and grow us. I know not everyone will embrace my family like she did (it was proven this past weekend), but I know I can lay it at the Lord's feet and know that HE is where we find our unconditional acceptance. It was a lovely day, indeed.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
You know when you are chewing something sticky, let's say a laffy taffy, or a peanut butter sandwich, and you can't swallow it for awhile. Well, that's how my life has been lately. Actually, it's like that plus I feel like I keep adding bites to that without ever swallowing in between.
Posted by Timmarie at 10:06 PM
Well, I have to say that it has been a busy couple of weeks. I did not weigh in last week due to Major Hunk's arrival. I had been working toward my goal of 25 pounds before he arrived. I am not sure if I made that goal as I didn't weigh in before he got here. We have spent every night eating out since he has been home. He has chosen all of our favorite restaurants. Many of which I have not eaten at since he left. Of course there are certain things he is craving, some of which are not healthy options. I have definitely made some good choices and then there have been meals when I say, "forget it" and eat the yumminess. I have gotten some exercise in. I have done some pilates and even went for a run on Sunday am. We did some hiking up on our mountain getaway. I really didn't feel like I could gauge where I was at. So, I decided yesterday to go weigh in so I know where I am at. And to help me refocus for the next week. I was so excited to see the results: Down 3.3 pounds!!!
Starting weight: 188.4
Current weight: 161.3
Total weight loss: - 27.1
Goals for the week:
- Keep exercising. Go for at least one more run while the Major is home. Hopefully two.
- Everyone say it with me: Drink more water!
- Enjoy every last minute with my husband before he is off to serve our country once again.
Have a great week!
Monday, October 29, 2007
Let me start off this randomness by saying it is after 4am. I have been up for 2 hours. I had a weird dream and have been awake since. So, I thought I would take this time to update both of my readers on my R&R. I apologize in advance for the rambling. Feel free to stop reading at any time :) I will write more about our time together in depth after he leaves and my life returns to a state of late nights and early mornings in order to avoid going to bed alone. Until then, here are some highlights...
- The airport reunion was the stuff that dreams are made of. He got off the plane and I hugged him and cried and hugged him and cried some more. I know, my eloquence is amazing. All this was after I got stuck in security because they had to wand my stroller. Yes. My stroller. Who knew that a stroller had many metal parts?!? Apparently, not the airport security in our fine city.
- I arrived to his gate just in time to see the last patrons off a flight from Dallas...where Major Hunk was coming from. This was 15 minutes before his flight was to arrive. What?!? They were early? Could I really have missed him?? Are our friends and family going to get to greet him before me?!? I went dashing to the nearest ticket counter and was greeted with, "Ma'am, this flight is full. Someone will be back to help you in a few moments." And he walked away. Are you kidding me?!? I am about to burst into tears. I called the bff who was waiting outside of security. She somehow understood me in my panicked and emotional state. And in all her wisdom, she looked as far down the walkway as she could and reassured me that if he had come by, she would have seen him and if she saw him they would all hide and give me time to sprint out and be the first to greet him. Are you sure... Maybe you just didn't see him, he is wearing camouflage after all! Seriously, I was a mess. As it turned out, it was not his flight, it was another flight coming from the same city only 15 minutes before. Who knew that we were such a popular destination for the Texans?!?
- Cpl Cutie has been quite standoffish with the Major. I won't lie and say that I am not disappointed. He is so awesome. He gives her time. He doesn't take it personally. Or so he says. The low was the 2nd day: each time she looked at him or he spoke to her she burst into tears. I reassured him that once she warmed up to him there would be no turning back. Well, so far, she has made a liar out of me. Every day is a new day and each morning when I get her from her crib I remind her of how much fun her daddy is and how much he would love a hug or kiss from her today. And each day I pray. Thus far, each day has gotten better. He has given her space and she is beginning to venture out. There have even been some hugs.
- Major Hunk and I were able to escape to the mountains for a few days. We had a glorious time of reconnection. We enjoyed the cool air, relaxing in the jacuzzi, going on adventures down unmarked roads and even some fishing. It was so good for both of us.
- We have amazing friends and family who have respected our family time. They have been extremely generous with their resources and their time. It was so nice to go away and really relax. I know I couldn't have done that if I didn't trust that the Cutie was being well cared for and well loved. So, thank you to the Racer and her family and the bff for adding a third child to each of their homes for a couple of days. You guys are the best!!
- I have been surprised how quickly it felt normal to have him here. During a deployment, the state of normal is always being redefined. I know we will never go back to our pre-deployed life. So, I was pleased to know that we could fall back into our roles so quickly.
- Life after deployment is going to be a challenge. It has been surprising to discover how much we have missed in each other's day to day. How much the day to day shapes who we are.
- I have been doing pretty well with my eating and exercise. I have been making good choices when we go out for the most part. And, I have exercised pretty regularly since he has been here. I even made it out for a run yesterday morning.
- I can't believe it is half way over.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
My 5 year old daughter, What Not To Wear, was requesting a song from her Shout Praise Kids cd on the way to church this evening. Here's a version of the song, called Who is Like the Lord?
So my hubbie turns on the song, and I hear my girl begin to worship God. Only the song she was singing had the following lyrics...
"Who will slap the Lord? NOBODY."
We just turned the car around and went home, because that word was enough to cover a hundred Sundays of messages.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
I rushed to Captain Mom's house Sunday morning to weigh in for the last time for the next couple of weeks. I figured I needed to face the music with my gain from my poor food choices. By some MIRACLE OF GOD, I had neither gained nor lost. I will take a plateau gladly for my bad choices. I am hoping to improve this week in the following ways:
#1- Eliminate all ice cream from the house until after November 1st. I know this doesn't seem like an outrageously long time, but for me, an ice cream addict, it is. I was reading the featured loser of the week, Lisa Kay's story on Tales and it really made me reflect when she talked about not having ice cream in her house. I need to break this very bad habit. And the best way for me to do that currently is to not have it available. Until the habit of having it everyday after dinner is broken. After the week is over, I will reevaluate.
#2- Get back into my Pilate's/strength training. I've been running, but have found that I am having a hard time keeping up with my 3x/week pilates. I need to plan this time out (nap time works best for me) and honor myself by taking the time to do the work.
#3- Bake. I know, you look at that and think that's setting me up for failure. The reason I am adding this to my list of things to do is because I love to bake. I love the smell of it and the bonding time it allows me to have with What Not To Wear. So, my goal is to bake something this week, just her and I sharing some time in the kitchen. It allows me to slow down and do something with her that we both enjoy.
In case you didn't know:
Starting weight: 168
Last weigh in weight: 133
This week's weight: 133
We'll see you in two weeks, when I'll be able to weigh in again!
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
...You probably think this blog is about you...
Sorry, distracted by the tunes I'm singin in my head.
So, today I am taking my two kids to meet with another mom of a kindergartner that is in What Not To Wear's class. She has two kids, too. And let me just tell you...I am nervous as all get out, for 2 reasons that have nothing to do with one another.
#1- The first reason I am nervous is because I typically don't have to disclose alot of information about Dirty Job when I am first meeting someone. I think part of that is because once I make a statement like "Dirty Job has a diagnosis of autism," I quickly want to follow it up with a 15 minute explanation of how we hope he will "test out" of this diagnosis, of the progress he's made, of how he doesn't show most 'typical' symptoms of autism, etc. All of that can be information overload when you know me, not to mention if this is our first time hanging out.
Because we are meeting at the mall playground (which can be a difficult place for him sometimes - mostly with darting out of the play area) there is a good chance that I will have to share some information with her. She seems to be a sweet, sweet lady, but it's always nerve racking to be so vulnerable when you know nothing about a person. I just want us to all get along, because What Not to Wear and her child are great school friends! I know the Lord is calling me out in this area of my life, to be vulnerable and social outside of my comfort zone of friends, but still...I am nervous. I guess we'll figure it out real quick if we never are invited to hang out again!!! Not that that would be because of Dirty Job, but most likely because of his crazy mother.
Reason #2 is where my vanity comes in. Last weekend, What Not To Wear broke my MAC foundation compact that still had PLENTY of powder in it. At $25 a pop, you'd better believe I have to be frugal and wait to purchase such conceals-everything-riches. So I'll be hanging out sans foundation. Nothing says beauty like my newly caramel and red highlighted hair with new adorable bob haircut coupled with my acne ridden red blotchy skin. Apparently, the Lord is also stripping my hang up with outer beauty. You know, the 1/4 of an ounce of it that I have. (Seriously, ask Cpt Mom, I hardly ever wear makeup...in fact, I've been trying to "paint the barn" more so that my husband may appreciate my beauty as he did back in the days before we said "for makeup or no makeup.")
So there you have it. Me. Nervous. But going. Should be fun! In a stomach-turning-for-the-first-three-minutes sort of way.
Monday, October 22, 2007
So, apparently I was a little nervous about Major Hunk getting home and me not being able to talk to anyone for a couple of weeks, because on Saturday I must have called Captain Mom 47 times. No lie. I pretty much turned into a stalker. I'm probably on her list of Blocked Callers now. Me and that other girl, Sallie. If you don't know who Sallie is, be very, very glad.
Not that I'm at liberty to update for her, but I'm going to anyways. Because I can't call her to get permission. Major Hunk is home. We got to greet him at the airport. Before I get into that, let me tell you that Cpt Mom looked down right HOT yesterday. She was wearing a snazzy, sexy black dress...in fact, the same dress she wore as she was leaving for her honeymoon. Yeppers, she's lookin good folks!
Being able to greet Major at his arrival was such a privilege. As we were waiting for he, Cpt Mom and Cpl Cutie to get from the terminal through the security gate we got to watch another soldier reunited with her mom. It brought tears to our eyes to see such a sweet reunion. We applauded her and her family and truly I've never felt so ill equipped to express my gratitude. When you see the sacrifice walked out in the airport as the reunion of a mom and daughter take place, the humility is overwhelming. Someone else voluntarily putting their life on the line for me, I tell ya, it gives you a giant dose of perspective.
Never have I been so happy for Cpt Mom as I was yesterday. Marriage and births are so exciting, such happy celebrations, but to be reunited with the love of your life...just amazing. Because you have all of the joy, but also the familiarity of your mate. The comfort of returning to someone's arms...that's the stuff good books are made of. And to know they have walked out this sacrifice willingly and as obedience to the Lord...that brings the celebration to an all new level. After traveling for days, Major Hunk was so gracious to us regular folk. He let us all give him a hug and thank him and take his picture about a bazillion times. I'm sure he REALLY appreciated that.
It was lovely. All of it. And I'm just so thankful my family got to be a part of it.
Friday, October 19, 2007
Seriously, how fast is life speeding by right now?! I have never felt so, well, rushed ever. I have so many thoughts to process and blog about and yet I can't find the moments to do just that. I fell asleep last night in my clothes on the couch and woke up at 7:25 and had to rush What Not To Wear to school. I have had 2 conversations this morning where I've had to stop and think about what I was saying because my brain is moving at 10x the speed of my mouth. One was with Cpt Mom, so I could just laugh about it, but the second was with a nurse about Dirty Job. A nurse that attends my Thursday morning bible study. NICE first impression. I am glad to have it already out there that I am a total nutcase...she doesn't have to wait to get to know me to figure it out!
Anyhoo, next week I am taking the advice of my fabulous Thursday morning teacher and having a Do Not Move the Car Day. Hopefully by then I can complete a thought.
And in case you were wondering, I didn't weigh this week. But I know I gained. Because I had a double scoop on a waffle cone among other wonderful things to eat this last weekend.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
I was popping around blogland and saw this post by scalejunkie. I thought it was a great idea as I, too, tend to be hypocritical in my weight loss encouragement. What I mean by that is that when someone has a bad week, I have lots of truthful, encouraging comments for them. When it is me, I have lots of negative comments for myself. I often, even, attack my character with such statements as, "I suck," "I am dumb," "I am a Weight Watcher reject." Now, writing these, they sound harsh. When I say them, it is always laced with sarcasm and light-hearted humor. But, would I ever say such a thing about anyone else? Even jokingly? No. No, I wouldn't.
As I began to think about this post, I began reflecting on the message I heard tonight. I won't get into the details, but it was a memorial service for an amazingly, godly matriarch of our church. A few of the people commented that they had never heard her speak a harsh word about anyone in all the time they had known her. Ouch. That one hurt! Hit me square between the eyes. Would you hear someone say that at my funeral? No. No, you wouldn't. I bring this up, not only because it is hugely convicting, but because it started me thinking. I do say things about others that are not uplifting. I do say things that don't need to be said. And sometimes, I do say things that are down-right hurtful. I not only do this with others, but I am most guilty of doing it with myself. I am super critical to myself. Again, often in a joking, sarcastic way, but it is not healthy. Jesus says to love others as myself. If I think so lowly of myself, then I will, by default, think lowly of others as well.
So, in an effort to extend grace to myself, I give you: A letter to myself, from myself.
You have been giving yourself a bad rap for a long time now. You have spent countless moments pulling yourself down when you desperately needed a pick me up. I am going to take sometime to share with you some of the good things I see you doing in your life.
First of all, you are a good mom. You love your daughter and you strive to create a balanced life for her. You look at her with stars in your eyes while still trying to teach her that the world, in fact, does not revolve around her desires. You teach her that her God loves her perfectly and that her mommy and daddy love her the very best they know how.
You are a good wife. You love your husband fiercely. You are committed to loving him the best you know how and striving to do better the next time. Most importantly, you are committed to him through your commitment to God. You are willing to do the hard work that is marriage because of it.
You are relational at the core. You care about people and their lives.
I have seen much growth throughout your weight loss journey. You have gone from truly out of control emotional eating to being aware of emotions that cause you to want to run for the pantry. You have lost more than 23 pounds. 23 pounds!! That is great. You have incorporated more exercise into your daily life than you have had in the past 3 years. These are both important lessons that will benefit your lifetime goals. Keep working, you are doing great!! You are looking good. You are wearing clothes that had been banished to dark corners of the closet for a long time. You even said yourself that you saw yourself naked the other day and weren't disgusted by it. That is progress.
You have been able to work on all of these areas while your life has been in a constant state of stress. It doesn't matter that the bills are paid late, that you double book your calendar and that the house gets messy. What matters is that your husband, daughter, friends and family know they are loved. In the midst of loneliness, fears of war and extreme busyness, you have not lost your mind. I think that says something.
Do something nice for yourself today.
Wow. That was really difficult to write. I kept feeling the need to edit it in such a light that I wouldn't be perceived as full of myself. I had to keep telling myself, "What would you say about this to a friend in your shoes? Would you worry what people might think if you said those things to a friend?"
So, here I am. Ready to think more often before I speak. About others, and about myself.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Another week down and another 1.2 pounds down. This week has been a little hectic. I drank WAY too much soda and consequently not enough water. I did exercise quite a bit this week. I did pilates 3 times this week and walk/run 2 times. I am hoping to really rock the exercise this week. I really want to get the 1.8 pounds off to get me to 25 pounds.
So, continue the same goals. And, while Major Hunk is home, try not to gain a lot of weight with all our many trips out to eat.
Beginning weight: 188.4
Current weight: 165.2
This week: -1.2
Total loss: -23.2
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
First things first...why is it that I always feel the need to be munching on something when I am watching The Biggest Loser? Seriously. I did the same thing when Dr. Phil had his weight loss challenge. It's pretty ironic, don't cha think? And last night, I fell off my rocker, people. I had quite a few snacks. And by snacks, I mean peanut butter cups and general foods international fru fru coffee. I'm noticing more and more my poor choices post-dinner. I'm definitely a night snacker.I think I've identified some of the reasons why (I pigged out last night):
2. Stressful home stuff (more on that later)
3. Lack of self control (due to home stress)
So, those reasons will give me plenty of things to reflect on this week.
Aside from last night's episode, I've done fairly well. My parents didn't come out last weekend, so I wasn't overeating. The stats:
Last week's weight: 133.5
This week's weight: 133
Total weight loss: 35 lbs. YAY
The Cpt and I took our measurements on Sunday, and I was so completely excited for the both of us. Of course, I keep forgetting to get my new measurements when I go to her house, so I may never get around to posting them!!!
So this week my goals are:
1. Encourage Cpt. Mom - I KNOW she can achieve her 3 lb weight loss. She is going to feel great reaching the 25lb mark. Especially when she puts on her sexy dress to pick up hubs from the airport.
2. Drink water. I have been able to tell throughout the day and when running that I am not getting enough water in my body. This is, of course, VERY important, especially when training for 10K's and such. I'll cramp up if I'm not well hydrated.
3. Find time to do long run. The kids and I are going to see my parents on sort notice, so I have to carve out the time while in their beach city. I think I'm going to love running with the ocean view...
4. Don't pig out. Do go for frozen yogurt.
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Well, another week closer to seeing my hubs. (Yep, this is pretty much how we think in the deployment homes.) He is scheduled to leave the "theater" in 10 days. I can hardly wait!
Ok, today's weigh in was a step in the right direction. Down 1.4 lbs.
Beginning weight: 188.4
Current weight: 166.4
This week: -1.4
Total loss: -22
Achievements for the week:
- I wrote down everything I ate.
- We did our measurements. I have lost about 10 inches. I am pleased. The Racer has once again motivated me to add more exercise to my life.
- I wore a dress today that I wore leaving the church on my wedding day. Needless to say, I have not even considered wearing that dress since before I was pregnant with the Cutie.
- And, in randomness, can I just say that I am glad that Jillian from the Biggest Loser had to take a bite of humble pie? (If you watch the show, you know she almost choked on it being that she would never willingly eat any kind of dessert.) I really like her. I think she is a good trainer and I can tell she really cares about her team. But, this week she got a little crazy. I love that the teams that got to enjoy the "vacation" lost more weight than the black team who was not allowed to breathe unless it was going to keep them out of the elimination. (Not about my weight loss, but I just had to vent for a minute.)
- Get in 4 days of exercise this week.
- Lose 3 pounds over the next 2 weeks.
- Continue writing down everything I eat.
- And, as always, drink more water.
Sunday, October 7, 2007
I must tell you, I have great friends. Really great friends who love me and love my family. I have friends who pray for me, friends who laugh with me and even friends who laugh at me. But, throughout this deployment, I have been given the opportunity to see how friends react to a long-term, stressful situation. I had friends who came out in full force last year and now dwindled. I have friends who will babysit my daughter and even will keep her overnight. I have friends who don't know what to say. I have many friends who offered to help and have never followed through. I have friends who are very concerned about me and how I am doing when they see me, but are too busy to call. I have friends who take my daughter and even will keep her overnight (can you tell how meaningful this one is to a tired mom?). I have friends who pray for me. I even have made friends who are going through this same experience with me. I have experienced many times of gratitude and some disappointment throughout the past 17 months. I am so thankful that I understand that as humans we are going to let each other down. I don't think it is personal when a friend disappoints me, but it often feels very much so. I know we do the best we can and that we all fall short because of our human nature. I truly believe that my God is the only one who will never let me down. Now, I am not saying that I have not had some big, fat pity parties over disappointments. Yes, I have indeed. In fact, I am even battling with one this evening. But, I know that the enemy likes to use that tactic to push me into a defeated attitude. In our message at church this morning, the pastor challenged us to "stand in victory" over the one who tries to defeat us. So, I am ready to dust off the disappointments and stand.
I have to brag a little about the Racer here. She has really shown me what a friend is. She goes so far beyond the typical friend. She really puts feet to her friendship. Let me give you a few examples (or 12):
- She prays for my family.
- I can always count on her to babysit and she always acts like it is a pure joy to do so. And she does offer to keep her overnight :)
- She asks me about my husband.
- She is the only one who has volunteered to do child care for our monthly Family Group meetings and she puts up with the udder chaos and sweltering heat in the armory all so we moms can have a couple of hours to meet and not worry about our children. And she comes every month!
- She loves those kids (behavior problems, crying and all) and she prays for them.
- She has spent hours and hours organizing my house when I have become too overwhelmed to do it. She offers to do this so willingly knowing that organization is not her first, or her second, or her 22nd love.
- She encourages me in all I do.
- She laughs with me and at me.
- She lets me laugh at her.
- She doesn't judge me. She takes me right where I am each and every time.
- She challenges me to be a better wife, mom and friend just by living her life.
- And most of all, she lets me in to her life too. It is all well and good to have friends who are there to help you through a crisis. But, when the crisis is over, it lacks depth. The Racer is not that friend. She trusts me enough to be vulnerable. She invites me into her family and allows me the opportunity to pray for her, her husband and her beautiful children.
Thank you Lord for the friends you have brought into my life. I know that each and every one has a purpose. I know that each encounter provides me opportunity for me to know You better. Thank you for friends who sharpen me. Thank you for Your hands and feet extended to me during this trying time. May I never forget the lessons I have learned about friendship and may I use them to be a better friend tomorrow. In the precious name of Jesus. Amen.
Saturday, October 6, 2007
I went out with a couple of friends last night for a most scrumptious dinner. We had a great evening of chatting, tropical fruit iced tea and food. The tropical iced tea at the Cheesecake Factory really is the best. As I bit into our shared meal, I had a moment. Really, I did. A moment in which I knew that I have some deep rooted food issues. I think the feelings I had toward that orange chicken was a little adulterous, people. Overall, I think I did pretty well with my eating. We had a super yummy dinner and some delicious cheesecake, but by splitting it 3 ways, I think I kept my points under control. I dipped into my extra weekly points, but as my leader says, "that's what they are there for". So, on one hand, I can see growth in food choices and portion control. But, on the other hand, I discovered I may need a little bit of therapy for my love of food.
Friday, October 5, 2007
Oh, people. If only you could've been there. I'm not sure if I can capture the essence of our trip to get running shoes. However, you may have heard us around the world.
Cpt Mom and I went to buy running shoes today. We went after nap time, so you'd think we could've tried on a few pairs of shoes, picked one out, paid and left. That is most definitely not how the trip went down. I had five year old mean spirited, whiny, try to guilt trip a toddler girl and screaming for no good reason boy with me. What should've been headache less turned into a period of time that I wish I was a crack smoker so I wasn't so flipped out at the behavior of my children. All of this bad behavior came after I had already been insulted about my job as a mom/wife and I seriously yelled at my kids in the store. Not my best moment, peeps. We're home now and I still have not recovered. I'm not sure what to do with this day!
I guess all I can do is be thankful that I got new shoes that I am pretty sure are good for my stride, but I can't be sure. And I am most positively looking forward to a stress burning run in the morning. Nothing says shake it off like 6.5 miles...except, of course, cheesecake, Starbucks, or death by chocolate cake.
Yes, I know the title could be misconstrued, but it is what we're doing. We are putting a face to our writings. Later we'll put a more appealing face to our blogs, but for now, we chose a picture that reflects how we feel - a little too much for alot of people. Go ahead and begin envying out beauty now. This picture was taken at the thug wedding. Consequently, there was a ton of laughter and some SWEET moves on the dance floor. Yes, we can even create fun in the craziest of circumstances. We are literally the people you point and laugh at. The greatest thing about being us though, is that we don't care. We chicken dance, hand jived, electric slid and even added our own signature moves.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
It was an interesting food/exercise week. My sis was in town, we had a school carnival, a zoowalk and a trip to my favorite BBQ place. I did my long run on Friday, but didn't exercise Sunday or Monday. I ran last night, which was fantastic, and then I tried to run this morning to get myself on schedule. Let me tell you, if you run at 6pm one night and try to run at 7am the next day, it feels like you are going to die. I ended up changing my workout to a walk/Phoebe run (also known as AI training). I hope to get back on track tomorrow with a good run and an upper body/ab workout on Friday before our 6.5 mile run Saturday.
Alrighty...here's the official weigh in.
Last week: 134.5
This week: 133.5
Total Loss: 34.5 lbs
I didn't take my new measurements, though I got my old ones from Cpt Mom. So I want to do that this week. And she and I have plans to get new shoes tomorrow or Friday, so that we don't kill ourselves. My other goal is to stay on track with my eating, as my parents are visiting from out of town this weekend. I'm hoping my Dad will cook up somethings scrumptious, as he is MY FAVORITE chef. Of course, why wouldn't he be? His main ingredients typically include garlic and butter. Aaaaahhhhhhhhh.
Well, another week. I weighed in last night and discovered I had gained .2 lb. Really, I am happy with that. When I reflect back on the week, it was well earned. I did not write down my points most of the week, I made some poor choices and I upped my diet soda consumption by at least double- consequently, my water intake was about half. Oh and I did no exercise.
At our meeting last night, we discussed diets. Our leader was asking what do we think of when he says the word "diet"? These were the responses: starvation, deprivation, depression, temporary. As we discussed each of them, a conversation I had earlier in the week came to mind. It went something like this:
Me: "Wow, you are looking good, how much weight have you lost?"
Friend: "Only 15 lbs. I thought it would come off faster."
Me: "15 lbs. That's great. You haven't been doing this very long."
Friend: "A month. 15 lbs in a month."
Me: "Don't be frustrated, that is fast. Do you know how long is took me to lose 15 lbs?"
Friend: "Yeah, but you weren't eating cardboard."
I thought this was a great illustration of what I have been learning at Weight Watchers. The "diet thing" has really never worked for me. As soon as I tell myself, "You can't have this, this and this. You can only have this, this and this," I am doomed. I have a rebellious enough spirit that as soon as I hear "forbidden", I become focused. Focused on the food I am not supposed to eat. Pretty soon I am thinking about that food as my most favorite, can't live without it food. And then, the inevitable, I eat it, a lot of it. Then I feel like a failure and I go and medicate myself with more food. This is usually where my diets come to die.
I shared in a previous post about making lifetime, lifestyle changes. If I am in this for the long haul (which I am), it doesn't/shouldn't matter how long it takes me to get there. If I look at my goal weight as the finish line, I am destined to balloon back up again. Once I reach that, there is no need for hard work anymore...I will have arrived. So, all this to say that I am thankful that I have been able to stay focused on this being a lifetime commitment. Without that, I would be bitter about the slow weight loss, no matter how fast it was coming off.
Goals for this week:
Get back on my training program now that my foot seems to be doing better.
Get out my tracker. Write in it.
Get back to more water, less soda.
Beginning weight: 188.4
Current weight: 167.8
This week: +.2
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Umm, it's October. It could stop being so stinkin hot now. As in RIGHT NOW! We had a minor cooling trend, but it was just to trick me into thinking I could wear a long sleeve tee with shorts in the early am. Seriously, can I blame the young people for dressing immodestly when it's 87,000 degrees out? If I had a rockin bod, you'd better believe I'd at least be contemplating it, even if I never actually dressed that way.
And in other non changing life events...
Cpt Mom and I stayed up WAY TOO LATE last night. My humor maturity is at an all time low. I laughed as I talked. I couldn't complete sentences because I was cracking myself up for no reason at all. Maybe Cpt Mom dropped acid in the dinner she so wonderfully prepared yesterday. Everything was ridiculously funny to me. It's really embarrassing what she has to endure, ya all. One of our friends once speculated that we laugh so much to cope with stress, which I immediately dismissed. But last night at 2:15am I was up and pondering that statement, thinking about what that would mean for our friendship once Major Hunk gets back, because she'll be significantly less stressed (or just stressed in a million other ways, but I'm believing she will be less stressed). If the coping statement is true, we would essentially have to stop being friends. Because she would then realize VERY QUICKLY that I am, in fact, the poster child for what happens when people who should be in therapy don't actually go to therapy. All of her laughter with me would soon be directed at me for being a total whack job. Which I am, but she doesn't know that yet. She still finds humor in my mystalking ways and the way we talk about our favorite boggers like they are our BFFs.
Today ought to be a fun day to get through. It started with approximately 4 hours of sleep and a daughter who didn't want to wake up and then wanted to wear dirty clothes to school. We'll see how it goes once she's out of school this afternoon. The day could end up with me in the fetal position flapping/hugging imaginary people, laughing about farts.