Friday, January 23, 2009

Oh the growth!

This morning, I took Dirty Jobs and the Cutie to our local indoor playground.  I had such a precious morning just watching the two of them.  I don't know if I have mentioned that I have been so lucky to work with Dirty Jobs as his habilitation worker.  What that means is that in addition to having this sweet guy in our lives as a dear family friend, I also get to work with him one on one a few times a week.  I have been doing this since August.

Well, today as I watched the two of them romp and play in the playland, it hit me.  That little guy has grown so much.  Not just in height (which he has) and not even in language (which he has), but just in all around maturity.  I was able to see today that the additional language he has acquired has given the world such a beautiful gift.  The gift of his personality.  That little guy just loves life and he loves to share it with those around him.  He is full of life and excitement to discover something new.  He runs at life full speed ahead.  But, just recently, he has also become aware of life's dangers.  And he exercises restraint.  Yesterday he heard me knock at the door and unlocked it.  His mom told him to stop when he tried to open it.  And you know what, he let go of the door and walked away.  Just a few months ago, he would have rushed to open it and bolted out at the first opportunity.  

I have enjoyed these past 6 months with him and look forward to the coming months with great anticipation.  He has made huge progress on each of his goals in the past months.  I am so excited to see him blow these new goals out of the water this coming year.  

Thank you Racer for entrusting me with one of your most precious gifts.  
And thank you Dirty Jobs for teaching me so much about life.  

I love you guys!

Monday, January 19, 2009

Big Day

Today was my big ultrasound.  you know the one where they send you to have all the baby's systems checked out and let you now the sex of the baby.  There was a little stress when the tech kept asking me questions that I didn't think were routine.  Then the dr came in to check on some things.  I was getting nervous and the bff had bowed her head in prayer by then.  I asked the dr what he was looking at and he didn't answer.  Then I started to panic a little.  It turns out they were looking at the placenta and the uterine wall.  I was contracting through the ultrasound and that was making it difficult to read.  After a little bit of time, they were able to confidently announce that everything looked good.  We got some precious pictures of the baby's foot and leg and a great profile shot.  We even got a picture of a yawn.

And they were able to tell me with confidence that it looks like we are having a boy!

Let the great name debate begin...

**Leave me some boy names in the comments if you have some you like**

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Don't let it slip away...

I have been amazed at how different this pregnancy is from my first.  More than anything, I have been amazed at how different I have been during this pregnancy.  I relished in every moment of my first pregnancy.  I was very focused.  This time, I am enjoying it.  But, I am also very distracted.  When people ask how far along I am, I have to stop and think for a second.  Well, I thought about it this morning.  I am 19 weeks pregnant.  That is almost half-way there.  Wow.

I want to document some of it here so I don't let it slip right past.  This pregnancy has been an eventful one.  We found out I was pregnant just 6 days after my husband's orders ran out and he was officially out of a job.  That also meant we were officially without insurance.  It was 6 months after Baby Blues went to heaven and only one week after I told my therapist my fears about how a pregnancy could really rock the world of our extended family in this light.  It was also one week after my bff had her tubal reversal surgery.  I was a little shell-shocked.  I also wondered about the timing.  But, knowing that His timing is perfect, I courageously stepped into this new phase of our life and didn't look back.

Now that we are halfway through it, I have all but forgotten those early fears.  I have popped out in epic porportions.  I am tired and achy and don't get nearly enough sleep.  I haven't monitored my diet like the first and I have even begun drinking caffeine.  *gasp*  (I wouldn't have dreamed of such things the first time around.)  And, I have a different perspective this time.  I am carrying life.  And, after walking through the most difficult journey of her life with my best friend, life takes on a whole new meaning.  Life is precious.  Every life.  No matter when it comes.  And none of those other things really matter.  It doesn't matter what changes occur to my body.  It doesn't matter that I look twice as big as every other pregnant lady at church.  What matters is that the Lord sees us fit to parent this child for as many days as He has ordained.  

I was chosen to be this baby's mother.  Major Hunk has been chosen to be it's father.  And the Cutie has been chosen to be it's big sister.  May we never get so wrapped up in our ideas or concerns that we lose sight of that priviledge.

21 weeks (more or less) until I have to share this baby with the world.  And, I plan to enjoy every private moment we have together until then.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Conviction?? Well, come on in.

As I mentioned in my post last week my mouth often gets me into trouble.  It is one of the things that I feel convicted about most often.  And again today, I am awake at unspeakable hours wondering how do I always end up in the same place?  Now, don't get me wrong.  I don't go around spreading gossip or bashing people's character.  It's much more subtle than that.  In my concern for others, I often overshare my opinions.  My goal for this week is to remember that it doesn't really matter what I think, and I certainly don't always have to share my opinions, especially when no one asked.

Here are some scriptures I have found regarding my mouth and how I need to keep it shut and be better about using it for good.

Ephesians 4:29- Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth- only that which benefits those who listen.

Psalm 19:14- May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing to you, Oh Lord.

James 3:9,11- With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness.  Can both fresh and salt water come from the same spring?

1 Peter 3:2- They may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.

Proverbs 10:19- When words are many, sin is not absent.  But, he who holds his tongue is wise.

There are so many more, but I must stop here and let these 5 sink in today.  There is plenty here for me to think on.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Happy Birthday Party

Well, I am finally getting around to the Cutie's birthday post.  Her birthday was more than 2 weeks ago, but we just wrapped up the celebrations this weekend.  As Dirty Jobs told the bff on Saturday, "Happy Birthday party".

Dear Cutie,

That Christmas of 2005 when I waddled around with you still inside of me, we knew your days in there were numbered.  Oh, how I loved feeling you inside of me.  I was not in a hurry to get you out of there.  And, frankly, you seemed pretty content to be there as well.  I kept asking the doctors to let you stay a few more days and wait for natural labor.  Finally, Dr. S drew the line and said it was time.  They scheduled me for an induction.  19 long hours later, we finally got to meet you, face to face.  We struggled through those first weeks and I was so thankful when they finally determined your food allergies.  Once we got you onto that pricey hypo-allergenic formula, you (and I) were so much happier.  You were such a smiley baby!

When you were 4 months old, your daddy left for some training in another state.  It was hard because we missed him, but I was so thankful to have your smiles and laughter to fill my days.  I was able to document your first year for him with pictures and emails and texts so he wouldn't miss out on any of your milestones.  Then, we spent our first Christmas together as a family right before Daddy left for Afghanistan.  We made so many memories and he had a blast catching up on who you were becoming.  The year that Daddy was overseas, was one of the most difficult of my life.  Mommy lost her mind a little bit and the house got pretty messy.  But, we had lots of laughs.  You brought so much joy to my days and I am so grateful that you were with me during that time.  And though you may never remember it, it will always remain a special time for me with you.

I love the special relationship we have based on the fact that it was just the two of us for most of your first two years.  But, I have loved watching you and Daddy work out that relationship.  The first little while was tough.  I couldn't be out of your sight.  You wouldn't let him hold you or take over any of "my" duties.  But now, it was all worth it.  Finding you two in the garage fiddling with tools or building something never fails to make me smile.  Watching the physical play that you and Daddy engage in usually makes me laugh.  No matter how tired he is, he can't resist you when you say, "You can't get me," and take off running through the house.  The giggles are precious.  You love your time with daddy and you start to get cranky if too many days go by without getting that special one on one time with him.  Your dates together are always good for both of you.  

Your third, was the last birthday we had together as a family of three.  Next year, your brother or sister will be here to share it with you.  This next year will be full of changes.  But, as your life has already shown us, I think you will transition beautifully.  You have already taught your mommy and daddy so much.  

Thank you for being the one who taught me how to be a mother.  Thank you for the patience and grace you continue to show me as I walk through each and every stage of your life.  And thank you for becoming the beautiful little girl that God has created you to be.  Your love inspires me to be a better wife and mom and a better woman.

I love you, baby girl.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Fireproof- week 1

Major Hunk and I just began a bible study called "Fireproof Your Marriage".  It is based on the movie Fireproof.  I hope you have seen the movie, but if you haven' should.  My favorite line from the movie is when Caleb's friend tells him that fireproof doesn't mean that fires won't come, but that when fires do come, it doesn't bring destruction.  Yes.  I am ready to live in a marriage that is fireproofed.  Because anyone who is married knows that fires come.

Week 1 was based on Ephesians 5:21-33.  This scripture gives us instructions for treating each other as husband and wife.  At the core of it, we learned that women need to feel loved and men need to feel respected.  I was challenged to find ways in which I can show my husband respect this week.

Here are some scriptures that spoke to me:
  • Ephesians 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come our of your mouth- only that which benefits the listener.
  • 1 Peter 3:1b-2
That they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence in your life.

Apparently there is a theme in my life: I talk too much.  And the things I say are not always uplifting.  If you remember during the Priscilla Schirer study I did, the Lord spent many a weeks with me about my tongue and the words that I speak.  Boy, I am slow learner.  Thankfully, the Lord is so faithful, that He will keep bringing me back to it.

So, my goals for this week are:
  • Do things that make my husband feel respected by me.
  • Use words that build him up- when I speak to him and about him.
I hope you will join us in finding ways to fireproof your relationship as we work through this 6 week study.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Oh My Four!

Dirty Job,

I greeted you this morning with, "Happy Birthday, Dirty Job." Your reply was, "Happy Birthday, Mommy." It made me grin.

What a journey this past year has been. I have watch you grow and change and GROW some more. Have I mentioned you are HUGE? Your biggest growth, though, has been your speech. We have watched the miracle of who you are unfold this past year. I firmly believe that the Lord answered my prayer for speech through therapy and chelation. You are so fun to listen to!

I love your love for animals, t-rexes and most of all, your love for people. I love when you say hi to strangers. I love when you come up to give me a hug and preface it with, "big hug." Your newest trick is to say, "Come back," in this pathetically sad voice. It cracks me up!

You love talking about the letters of the alphabet, music, and various movies. You enjoy going to the park and riding your big wheel. You like to hike - but only if it involves going up a mountain. No easy trail for you! You love animals, both real and plastic.

The other night as we were laying in your bed I told you that the most important thing to me, even more important than talking is that you love Jesus. Your response, "Thank you, Jesus, Amen." I look forward to seeing and hearing you thank the Lord for many, many things that are to come.

I am so excited as I anticipate the next year with you, sweet boy. Happy Birthday to you!

Sunday, January 4, 2009

What's Up?

So, it's been a ridiculous amount of time since we have posted on here.  The holidays just get like that, don't they?  There is so much to share, but so little time to do it.  So, in order to keep your boredom to a minimum, here are the cliff's notes.

Our trip to the mountain state:
It was so great to see family.  There was so much going on, the time just flew by.  But, there was a baby to be admired, girl time to catch up on, an adorable pregnant belly that I couldn't get enough of and of course, some social awkwardness (ours, not theirs) thrown in for good measure.  The wedding was fabulously beautiful.  My daughter danced like a rock star the whole night.  It really was a highlight for me.  Lots of good memories were made.  But, I was ready to get home on Christmas Eve.

Our Christmas:
We had a really great morning together.  The Cutie slept until an unprecedented 8 am.  I gave many thanks being that I was up late wrapping gifts after a long night of travel and a trip to our local drugstore for forgotten stocking stuffers.  Our girl was really excited to open some presents and I got some really precious pictures of her.  It was a real blessing to include our roommate in our family traditions and family time as she really needs this in her life.  We are so glad she is here with us.  After our fun, relaxing morning, it was off to a whirlwind of holiday fare.  My biggest blessings of the season came hidden in our tiny Christmas budget this year.  It was humbling, yet refreshing, to give a small gift and not feel the need to apologize or explain.  And, you know what, no one was the worse for it.  I think my favorite lesson was seeing that my daughter was happy with the three small gifts we were able to put under the tree for her.  In the whole scheme of things, the gifts were a small part of our holiday.  And for me, that was really refreshing.  My most special Christmas gift came that afternoon while I visited Baby Blues gravesite and I felt baby #2 kick for the first time.  It was quite symbolic.

Cuties 3rd birthday:
She had a busy day, just like she likes it.  She had spent the night before with the bff and family.  I joined them for breakfast the next day, she and I decorated her cake together, our family went to our local pizza joint for some games and we topped it all off with a movie.  We then headed back to Dinoboy's for some rousing games of crocodile dentist, or whatever that game is called.  She had a party with her grandparents yesterday and a joint kid's party with Dirty Jobs is in our near future.  She has been glowing as she shares the news (with everyone) that she's 3 now.  Oddly, she really does seem older.

Other randomness:
Well, my baby's 3.  And, that makes me a little nostalgic.

Our financial state is such that we are in a place ripe for huge growth in my life and in our marriage.  It is a very scary and exciting, and scary, place to be.  

My in-laws found a dog this week.  It is lost and lonely and they are caring for it while they try to find it's family.  But, so far, no luck.  So begins my father-in-laws quest for making it our family pet.  So, a trip to meet the dog was in order.  My husband is in love.  And our daughter informed us that she wants to "bring it home, to our house, now".  Those were her words.  And she is really on the fence about dogs in general.  She loves some and fears others.  Did I mention that this dog is GIANT??  As in, when it stands on all fours, it's head is taller than our three year old.  And it has a thick coat of white hair.  That gets on everything it touches.  And things it doesn't touch.  The dog rested his head on the kitchen counter while we were there.  Again, I must say, GIANT.  So, here are my thoughts:  
  1. Oh the hair.  It will be everywhere.  Do I really need to throw that into the mix with my already lacking housekeeping skills?  
  2. Is it wise to bring a dog that is big and strong into our house with our child when we don't know it's background/history?  
  3. Umm, we will have a newborn in 5 months.
  4. We can't actually afford to feed this dog right now.  
  5. And, to be brutally honest, I fear that this dog will become another thing I have to take care of/ clean up after.  And, I am not ready to make that kind of commitment.
But seeing how happy my husband was to pet and play with this dog yesterday has me thinking about it.  He really loves dogs and really missing having one.  Watching how my daughter went from terrified of this gentle giant to sitting next to and resting her head on it's back within only a couple of hours, has me thinking about it.  In fact, this is the reason I am awake and typing this at 4 am.  I can't get that dog off my mind!  Is the Lord wanting to grow our family with a dog and a newborn all in the same year?  Could we be missing out on the companionship that a dog can provide based on all my rationalizations?  Are we crazy to even consider it at this point?  
I don't know.  But, I do know that we are going to have to discuss it.  Here's hoping for a clear sign from the Lord soon!

Last of all, Major Hunk and I have been finding some names that we can actually agree on in the past week.  We actually have both girl and boy names that we both like.  And, if you know us, you know this is huge!  Now, I won't lie, I am a little disappointed that my favorite names are not on that list, but still.  

Happy Sunday, friends.