Sunday, March 2, 2008


To my very core, I am a relational girl. I like to cultivate relationships and connect with friends. I feel it is a strong point in my life. But, I had a conversation with someone today that got me thinking. I converse, I talk, but do I really connect? How much of what I say is of any real value? How much is, "How are you? Oh, fine. And you?"

During Major Hunk's deployment, I made new connections and lost some. I connected with other women who were going through similar life experiences. Their friendships were invaluable to me. I also, at times, found myself living on the edge. I was living overwhelmed, everyday. One more life stress could have sent me tumbling over the side. During this time, it was more difficult to cultivate some of my relationships. There were strains.

Now that life has begun to take on a familiar pace again, I find myself reflecting. Do I really know what is going on in the lives of my friends? I know the surface things...the daily ins and outs of their momdom. But, do I ask the right questions? Do I really ask and then listen to how their marriages are? Do I follow up with them when they share struggles? Have I asked about the good things happening in their lives today? I am afraid the answer is not often enough. Just because they haven't brought it up doesn't mean that everything is just dandy.

I had a conversation with a friend recently about just this. I felt as though I had really disconnected with her. Her response to me was that she didn't feel that way at all and was surprised to hear that I did. This is exactly the point. We don't even realize we have disconnected. When was the last time we had a conversation about something personal in either one of our lives? It happens while we are busy living our lives.

I am so grateful to serve a God who gives us many chances. He loves me enough to show me the disconnect and to convict me to do something about it. Go out and share something with a friend today. Share something important and be vulnerable. She may be desperate for a connection today. It is risky, but it will be worth it.


Amazing Racer said...

good stuff.

Mary Hess said...

Wow! That sounds like some of the same things I've been thinking too! I've had a few close friends move away and new friends come into my life but the connections are different and the older friends, well, things change. I'm in a funky place and I want to connect too! Thanks for sharing!