Tonight, an absolutely wonderful woman from my church came up to me and said, "I've been meaning to tell you this for a long time, but I just wanted to apologize if I have offended you with anything I've said about Dirty Job. I'm just protective of him and in that I probably say things sometimes that I shouldn't." Now mind you, not a single thing came to mind when she made this statement. Not a one. I can't remember her being anything but nice. So I told her that. We chatted a few more minutes and before she left I told her if there had been anything I had done to make her feel like she was offending me, that I was sorry. She reciprocated that, yes, indeed, that had happened. I wanted to say so much more than I did. I simply replied with the statement that it's been a difficult year for me, one that started off with a really uncertain diagnosis and went from there. In her so sweet way, she hugged me and all was well. She shared that we may not always see it, but that God had been preparing me through some exposure to another boy with autism who was at our church for a season.
After getting home and putting my kids to bed, I processed that conversation with some ice cream and sausage. I know, a pretty sick combo. But it was breakfast sausage that we had had for dinner. Because I'm gourmet like that. Off track...
I can't help but wonder, have I been a total jerk face to my local body of Christ over the last year? Have I failed to be friendly and open? Did I take those who have rejected my son or my family in some way and assign their feelings to the entire congregation??? Did I presume because some people who were close to me disappointed me with their lack of support that no one would support us? I'm not sure how to answers these questions. In fact, in being completely honest these question make me want to run straight for a half gallon of ice cream. No lie. Because if I can answer yes to any of those, I have a serious amount of apologies to make! I know I mess up, but could I have really missed the mark in such an exponentially awful way?
I don't know. But you'd better believe that I'm taking it to the One who does. He's faithful to tell me the truth.