Balance

I have been thinking about this crazy journey called deployment. I was reflecting about the many incredible women I have met along they way. These are women I didn't know pre-deployment. I have laughed with them, cried with them, but overall just had fun times with them. We are a happy bunch. You would think so too if you happened upon us on one of our night's out. I believed this, until I saw a few R&R pictures. Let me tell you, in those pictures I saw a happiness on those women's faces that I had never seen in all the times that I have laughed with them. It was like they were made to be in their husband's arms. Like without him, a part of her had been missing. It was beautiful.

On the day of Major Hunk's arrival, we were greeted by friends and family at the airport. I, of course, cried. But as we were saying our goodbye's, our pastor said to me, "It's good to see you smiling." I remember thinking that was a funny thing to say because I smile. And I laugh.A lot. The next week at church he said, "You are still smiling. That is so great." Weird. Now, I don't mope around. I do not share with many about my struggles (I save those for a select few...sorry, Racer). I try to put on a happy face as I tackle each day. So, what is he talking about? On Wednesday night, I sat in a bible study taught by above said pastor. I wasn't feeling sad. I wasn't having a particularly difficult day. But, all of a sudden, I could feel the look on my face. I don't know if that makes sense. But, I could feel the way I looked and in a way could sense what he sees as he teaches me and looks out into the audience each week. And in that moment, I realized I was one of those women. I am one who looked different in my R&R pictures. I am one who feels incomplete while my husband is half a world away.

And, after much reflection, I think I have been able to pinpoint it. I am still the same me that I was before he left. I do not need him to validate who I am. My God does that. I am just distracted. I am distracted by the unconscious feelings. There is always a certain amount of fear, anticipation and loneliness that I carry around. I work hard not to let it take over. I am constantly trying to balance. That is it really. I live in a world that feels out of balance and I am working hard to stay upright. To not fall on my face.

So, while I haven't realized it until now. I have been, in a way, absent. So, to my friends and family who have felt put out by my lack of emotion, I can see it now. I apologize. Please know that I do celebrate and grieve with you: even though I may not be able to show it well. I hope you have not mistaken my reserved emotion for not caring. Because I do care. A lot. I just can't get too emotional and risk losing the balance I have worked so hard for the past 19 months to attain.

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas

So, my daughter is a present in the kindergarten Christmas production at her school. It's a part played by several students (as in, NOT the star role) and she is happy to be a present. In fact, the day she came home with her assigned part, she wanted to make her costume. Being the non-stage mother that I am, I told her we'd have Grammy make the bow because after all, she did keep newborn What Not To Wear well stocked on the obnoxious bow for infants circuit.

I can't wait to show you the picture. This bow dwarfs all other bows combined. It's gargantuan.

Unfortunately, my sister is the only one with the picture, so I will have to get it from her first.

You may die from the suspense. Or not.

This Christmas production has turned me into a freak. Well, actually that's not true. I've always been weird. But it has taken my freakiness to an all new level. A level involving lots of polka dots and glitter. Because my girl needs to sparkle, people.

'Tis the season, you know.

Thankful its OVER.

Well, I'm back from what seems like the longest Thanksgiving journey EVER. This week was so emotionally exhausting that I think I'm going to need a few recovery days just to get back on track with my day to day here.

I'd first like to give a shout out to God, for fixing the broken weather where I live. It is nice to return to fall weather that includes, but is not limited to flannel pajamas. I was seriously about to freak out about having such warm temps into December. But my prayers have been answered, and I can wear long sleeves. Oh, the joy.

Nothing says Thanksgiving like the family dysfunction I experienced this week. Let's just say I was VERY glad to be having coffee with my therapist friend on Saturday morning. I ugly-cried on her couch. And she let me, and even offered some great insights to me. She also gave me the freedom to say that my community has let me down. And I am allowed to grieve that instead of being passive aggressive about it. My therapist friend is the one who lead me to the Lord years ago, and we have known each other since our freshman year. She pretty much rocks and I am beyond thankful that our friendship has stood through a ton of "life." We are in two different seasons in our lives, and yet we can still get together and chat away. She is just one of those friends that hears your heart, even when you don't say what you're thinking clearly. That's probably what makes her a great therapist!

An extremely bright spot in my trip was the Sacred Holiday known as Black Friday. I celebrated with my sister and Cpt Mom in the next time zone over. It was such a blast to receive her picture texts and cheer for the wiitastic deals we got. It was like I was with her, except, of course, I wasn't. The above picture is Cpt's cart at WalMart. She picked up a couple of things for me there, so I wouldn't have to enter the madness. She also set the world record for spending on Black Friday. That girl put me to shame. Even writing those memories down is making me smile. In reliving the morning, the Lord has just really affirmed in my heart that our friendship is not bound to being in the same time zone, whether that be for the holidays or for the day to day. And frankly, you just don't find that in every friend. I mean, if we're honest, some friendships don't survive outside of a church building or a common interest. Not all friends end up being lifelong. Different relationships serve different purposes. Not all of them are meant to span over life. But it sure is nice to know that SOMEONE gets you. And that they'll get you whether you live next door, go to the same church, or are half way around the globe.

But enough about nothing in particular. Tomorrow (if I recover by then) I will discuss how I want to focus on the real meaning of the season, but have also become a little bit of a freak about my daughter's costume for her Christmas production. Multiple personalities at it's best, people.

Thankfuls and weight loss goals

Saturday and Sunday: I am thankful...

• For nights out with other military wives.
  
• For pottery painting fun.
• For laughter in my life, it really is the best medicine.
• That I can take my worries and fears to the cross and leave them there. This truly is the only place I can take them and be confident that One who knows far better than I has got it covered.
• For the peace I find when I can truly leave it at the cross.
• For mommy breaks!

Weight loss goals:

I think I need to set out some really tangible goals to keep me focused during this holiday season. They need to be realistic as well, factoring in all the holiday temptations.

• Find a new meeting to attend. I just received the sad news that Dale, my weight watcher leader, passed away unexpectedly. My gut feeling says that I don't want to go to "his" meeting anymore and have it run by someone else.
• Lose another 10 pounds by my anniversary in February.
• Go on a soda fast for a week. I have really gotten ridiculously hooked on diet soda. I need to give it up cold turkey for a while and really ramp up my water intake.
• Get back on the training schedule. Once life interrupted and I could not do the 10K, I really got lazy about following the schedule. I am going to start the training back at the beginning. Do a 2 mile and a 3 mile "wog" this week. (I read about wogging -walk/jog- on a few other posts and I feel like it is a better description of what I do than running.)
• Focus my mind. Because I know that therein lies the majority of the battle.
  

Thankfuls...

...Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. How did the week get away from me so quickly? I guess that happens when there is a holiday, huh?

• For family who understands my need to do something different for the holidays this year.
• And, for a dad who called 3 times to make sure I would not be spending it home alone feeling sorry for myself. (I didn't.)
  
• For cell phones to keep in touch no matter the distance.
• For good conversation even when it is half a world a way.
• For friends who also think it is fun to camp out all night just to get a good bargain. (Oh, yes we did!)
  
• For picture phones so we can keep in touch even when the Racer and I are apart for the most sacred of holidays: Black Friday :)
• For a 2 hour nap.
  
• For a friend who uses phrases such as " that's wiitastic"!!
  

I hope everyone enjoyed the holidays.

Weighing in

Well, today I went in to face the music. I will admit I have not been tracking my points or exercising regularly. I have also been drinking little more than diet soda each and every day. My eating has been pretty good. My portions have been small and I have made some good choices. Those do not include the cookies I continue to eat from the cookie exchange I went to on Sunday.

Last weigh in was right after Major Hunk headed back to the sandbox and before my cross country trek for a funeral. If you recall I was up 4.8 pounds...ouch!

Well, better news today. I lost 4 pounds since my last weigh in 2 weeks ago. Yipee!!

Goals for the week:

• Be really mindful of emotional and mindless eating during this emotional week.
• Eat thanksgiving dinner one time...not over and over all weekend.
• Now that the weather is cooling down in the mornings and evenings, strap Cutie into the stroller and get walking. At least twice this week.

And I want to give a huge WOOT WOOT to the Racer who met her weight loss goal this week. If you haven't checked it out, read about it here. I am so incredibly proud of her! She has worked amazingly hard and made many real life changes that will serve her well throughout her life. She hasn't just lost weight, she has really been transformed. And can I just say that she looks fantastic?! She is not only super skinny (which she is), but she is toned from all that running she does. She really is the Amazing Racer!!! Thanks for sharing the journey with me, friend!

Updated Stats:
Starting weight: 188.4
Todays' weight: 161.2
Total loss: 27.2

**I have now lost 15% of my starting weight. Wow!


And my Wednesday Thankfuls:

• For a wonderful pedicure and some time catching up with one of my favorite young gals.
• For 8:00 bedtimes on rough days
• That my girl was able to have some fun bonding time with her auntie. Aunts really are the best, aren't they??

***And to answer a question I got regarding yesterday's thankfuls: The bible study is called Loving Your Military Man. It is written by Beatrice Fishback. It is a study of Phillipians 4:8. I found it on family life's website. Here is the link.***

Tuesday Thankfuls

I started my day with a phone call from Major Hunk. We had such a nice conversation. It is amazing how much my perspective affects every aspect of my life. I had been thinking of blessings last night before bed and again this morning. It is humbling to see how much some kind words toward my husband can change his day and his attitude as well. It made me realize how my negative attitude and words must affect my daily interactions. I am so excited to see how the Lord will use this change in my daily life.

Today I am thankful for:

• the bible studies "Having a Mary Spirit" and "Loving Your Military Man"
  
• friends who encourage me in my mothering...especially during Target meltdowns (or wherever they may occur)
• a smile and wave with "iiieeeyyy" from Dirty Job (it is pretty much the most adorable thing you have ever seen)
  

Insert Happy Dance Here (Weigh In)

FOLKS!!!!! The day is here. On this Tuesday morning, one day shy of exactly 8 months since I began this journey of battling emotional eating, I have reached a very exciting milestone...my GOAL WEIGHT!!!!!

Starting Weight: 168

Today's Weight: 130

Total lost: 38 lbs

I can't even believe it's here!!! I weighed in Friday, and rechecked today (for accuracy and continuity) and sure enough, I legitimately weigh 130. I'll be writing another post on this soon, because for now, I have to get my buns in gear because we are leaving for Grandma's house for Thanksgiving...but I do have some goals for the long holiday weekend.

#1) Run 2 days that I am out there. This will most likely be Thanksgiving morning and Saturday morning.

#2) Bring alternative snack bag (already packed) on trip to help carb cravings. My folks typically have good fruit and veggie snack choices, but I packed some Fiber One bars and Curves bars for those must have carbs moments.

#3) Get full on blessings, not dressing this year. I don't need to eat it like there won't be leftovers!!!! I can enjoy a couple of small turkey meals instead of one that makes me feel sick afterwards. I want to be focused on the amazing people in my life instead of what dish they'll be cooking.

#4) Take a nap on the drive over today. I have not had enough sleep the last two days!

Alrighty, off to pack I go!

Attitude of Gratitude

Being that we go to the same church and all, I also heard a message on thankfulness this week. I am always amazed at the Lord's patience with me. I am so very genuinely slow to learn! There are some things that the Lord has been revealing to me for months now. I hear it at the time and I so very quickly forget. Then I find myself living the same life that I led before I heard the message. I desire more than that. I desire true change for my life. To live a life that pleases the Lord.

As our pastor was speaking about thankfulness, I found myself thinking of how easily I can fall into the trap of focusing on the negative. I notice it more and more in my daily life. I complain. A lot. I dislike this attribute I have taken on, yet, I find myself residing there each day. Through the sermon, it became very clear to me that my problem lies not in being unable to see my blessings. My difficulty lies in taking the time to give thanks and praise for those blessings. I am busy. Too busy. Too busy doing things that are nothing more than time wasters.

So, today I would like to begin a new journey. I am going to list the things I am thankful for here so I can have a record of the wonderful blessings that surround me in my life. I want to provide myself more opportunity to focus on the blessings. Not the complaining. Not the self-pity. Not the all around negativity.

So, as I reflected on writing this post, I could not decide where to begin. When I stop to think of my blessings, so many come to mind. So, I will attempt to chronicle my daily blessings here and I hope that it serves as a reminder to each one of us what a blessed people we are. That we are loved so much by a God who bestows daily blessings even when we are ugly. Especially, when we are ugly.

Monday Thankfuls:

• I am thankful that I get to walk through this deployment with other women who understand me. Women who lift me up. Women who pray with me and for me. And women who share my anxieties, pride and love for a man in uniform.
• I am grateful for the opportunity to pray for a strong woman of faith when she feels weak. It is very humbling to pray for a woman who's prayer covering I covet.
• I am thankful for a toddler who squeals with delight when mama arrives after any amount of separation.
• I am thankful for a husband who continues to grow and change. Each day I am reminded why I love him so.
  

Recipe

This is my recipe on how NOT to make pumpkin pancakes.

Pancake mix
canned pumpkin
Pumpkin pie spice
water

Mix together. Cook on skillet for the rest of your life, because it ain't NEVER going to cook through. Makes giant mess and a mom that had to go to plan B.

Enjoy. Or go through a drive thru.

He's too Sexy

I gotta tell ya, there ain't nothin sweeter than my man threatening to punch someone in the face.

Seriously makes me LOVE him.

I know you probably think we have anger issues in our home, but we don't. People just can't stop making ridiculously stupid comments about our family and children.

And for the record, my hubs never gets mad. So his righteous anger, his "Papa Bear" attitude, the way he is fighting for his family....it's hot.

That's all. Just wanted to give my main squeeze mad props. Or whatever.

I read a great post which strengthened my hope today. It brought me such encouragement, kinda like the glimpse of rain we got here today. Just a few drops for a couple of moments, but a promise of times to come.

This is a great song for this time in my life...

PFR - Pray For Rain lyrics

Born in a dry season

Wind and sand have blown through me

Haven't found shade anywhere

Only moments of relief

But sometimes I think I hear the thunder

Somewhere on the horizon line

If i could just find a way to get under

The rain that can reach this soul of mine

(chorus)

I pray for rain to come

And wash away what's made me numb

I pray for a ragging storm

To drown what's in me

And the rain comes in the nick of time

I swallow hard cause my throat's been dry

The rain comes beating on my skin

Till I'm washed away - nothing left within

When the rain comes

Your rain comes

Seasons have passed so quickly

Since I felt that first big storm

Still there have been times of drought

When I've prayed for the clouds to form

And I often hear the thunder

And I know of it's coming rain

Many times in my life I'll kneel under

The moving showers that brought this change

Names changed to protect the people whose faces I want to punch

I had an incident where someone who "cares" about my child made a snide comment about him. A person who claims to love him but won't join in the journey of walking that love out.


Now, this is an issue I have been dealing with in my life for quite some time now...this issue of the way people treat my Dirty Job. I haven't wanted to blog about it because I feel like it can so easily become a pity party that I am throwing for myself, and I want to be careful of that. I mean, I can throw quite the shindig of self-pity. Just typing this out, I have already walked to the freezer to have frozen cookie dough...twice. Because my non-victory over emotional eating is another post, I'll leave it at that. Where was I? Oh yes, self pity. It'll take over my life if I let it. But I feel like I need to process these thoughts out through the punching of the keys, so that's what I'm doing. I'd like to say it'll be my once and for all, but frankly, I'm guessing it won't be because this journey with Dirty Jobs is lifelong. And people will say dumb things throughout his life. Hopefully I will respond better as time goes on.

Here it is: Dirty Job is my son. He is my son, and he has been diagnosed with autism. He has few verbal words...and just for my own record I'm gonna list them:
DaDa
clock
keys (sounds like eeees - he's heavy on the vowel sounds)
uh huh (as in yes)
please (which sounds the same as keys)
up
done

Dirty Job also uses a handful or two of signs, points, and imitates some animal noises (he LOVES animals. even goldfish from fairs).

Dirty Job is also sensory seeking and well, a little on the active side. And by little I mean he's like an adhd kid on crack. I know because I'm his mom. And that's why I can say it. Because I say it out of love, knowing that the day to day grind is exhausting, but it's the most rewarding job I'll ever have.

Here's the thing: I know he's difficult. But I know he's worth it. He's worth every tear that my husband and I have shed and every last dime we have and will spend on helping him. He worth the hard days, he's worth the meltdowns...he's worth the effort.

All that to say this: Don't pretend like you care about us, don't say that you'll be there for us when you won't be. Please do me a favor and don't use your kind offers for help to ease your own self when you're not willing to get dirty and become a part of his world. If being uncomfortable isn't gonna work for you, then don't even open your mouth. Because you do more damage with your false support then if you didn't do anything at all. Don't say sweet things and then make comments like he's this hellion that would ruin your life if you had him a few hours.

I understand that sometimes people don't know what to say, so they say stupid things. This often happens to Cpt Mom. I'm sure I've said some stupid things to her. People don't get that having your husband in a war zone and away from you for 2 years isn't the same as your husband being out of town for a week or two. People like me say dumb things like "Time is flying by" when really, it's probably not for her. Time most likely drags on a lot of days for her. So I get that people will say stupid things. I can pardon that. Because we all do it. It becomes personal though when you make statements about my son as a person. Some of the characteristics of autism "mask" who Dirty Job really is, so you have to pardon some of his behavior to get to know him. I'm not saying we excuse his every bad deed. We don't. He sits on timeout at least a few times a day. It's just that you have to put yourself in his place and realize how difficult it must be to have words inside that you can't communicate. To have such sensory processing deficiencies that even when I lay on top of him it doesn't hurt him, but rather meets a need. Dirty Job has some pretty amazing things going on underneath all of that stuff.


He has the brightest smile I've ever seen...it lights up his entire face. He loves to laugh and rough house and play with animals. He thinks toothpaste is the best thing on the planet. He loves Word World, Super Why, and Sesame Street. He knows his colors, shapes and goodness knows, he knows his animals. Probably in record number. He tries to be gentle, but is sometimes quite mischievous. He is in love with Major Hunk's truck. He waves hi to many people and has definite favorites. He starts each day full ready to tackle it head on. He has an incredible imagination and some rather amazing blue eyes. He's completely charming (I know, a mother's bias) and God is using him in profound ways at not even 3.

So I guess I have a lot to learn as we walk this road of parenting a child with special needs. I need to store up grace for those who don't know better, and even more importantly, those that do know better. I need to see the joy in every success, because others will see none. I need to be quick to point out the positive, because others will point out the bad. I need to set good boundaries that grow our family unit and I need to let my children be exposed to some hurts and disappointments, so they learn that only the Lord is perfect.

I will not lose my hope.

I jest kipt on running....

10K Yesterday. Ran the whole thing. 1:03:34 was my official time. It was AMAZING!

Forgetfulness

I can sometimes get so busy with my day to day activities that I forget what day it is. In fact just this morning I woke up and thought it was Saturday. I am sure there is a scientific/medical term for this phenomenon...but I can't remember what it is! :)

Apparently, I have a bad case of forgetfulness, because for the past 9 days I have thought it was November. Clearly it is not, as it has been over 90 degrees in our lovely city.

Never fear, my friends, a cooling trend is moving in and it is supposed to be in the 80's by the end of the weekend.

Are you kidding me?!?

Own It

Weighed in last night. I have gained 3 lbs.


I don't even know what to say about that.

Except that I deserve every pound. I have not kept track of anything, I have eaten a ton of cookies/cakes/chocolate fountain treats. And now I am paying the price.

Good thing that it's a new day and I will make better choices today.

Goals:
1. Drink water. My 10K is on Sunday and I want to be well hydrated. I want to be well hydrated on a day to day basis, but this week is especially important.

2. Fill house will healthy choices. Because I need them so I can succeed.

3. Keep track of food. If I don't know how many points something is, I will find out. Because I am worth taking care of.

4. Run - today and tomorrow. And Sunday. Also do Pilates video at least 2 days this week.

Starting Weight: 168
Current Weight: 136 (+3)



I'm not sure if I need to reevaluate my goal to get to 130 by the end of the year. This gain makes that potentially very difficult. So, I think I will make that decision next week when I have made some good choices. There's no need to set myself up to fail, especially during the holiday season when there are plenty of goodies to drown my sorrows in. Breaking that bondage is way more important than a few pounds.

Time to get the running shoes on...

back to the basics

Ok. The Major is gone. Life is returning to our current state of normal around here. By normal I mean waiting for phone calls, avoiding housework and staying busy enough that I don't have to think about it. Our time together was amazing. It was just what I needed to feel refreshed enough that I feel like I can tackle the next few months until he is home...to stay!

I did go and weigh in today. I didn't go to my regular meeting last night because I was too busy drowning my sorrows in appetizers, drinks, dessert, rounds of pool and an odd movie. I couldn't possibly have made it. I had far more important things to do. I have some really great friends who knew I needed to get away and have some good laughs. And boy, did we laugh. By the time I had a drink in my lap, my abs had gotten some serious laughter workout time! But, I digress. I did make it today to go and face the music. I was really tempted not to go and just try to have a good week and make up the difference. Boy, was I surprised what I saw. I peered over the counter to see the number she was writing on my card. I think it took my breath away for a moment. I had gained more weight than I really thought was possible in just one week. In fact, the lady behind the counter said to me, "I won't even calculate how much of a gain that is, because it will depress me." Oh, yes.she.did. 4.8 pounds!!! Holy Cow!! I am not depressed about it, because frankly, the reason I gained was because I was so busy enjoying my husband that I didn't really care about anything else. And the fact that I knew he was leaving again and had a little emotional eating going on as well. Add to that my miniature panic attack. So, all in all, I'm keeping it in perspective.

So, here I am ready to recommit and leap head first back onto the bandwagon. I had a good day. I stayed within my points today. I did have a momentary lapse in judgment when I ate some of the leftover cheesecake from our date night. I have a tear in my eye when I say I am going to throw the last of it in the garbage. But, I have to, or I will eat it all.

Goals for the week:

• Water
• Get moving
• Track my points- every day!

I also realized today that I have my beginning weight posted wrong. So, now all my calculations are off by .4 and that is makes me a little crazy. So, here's the update:

Starting weight: 188.4
Todays' weight: 165.2
Total loss: 23.2

My mini goal is to get back to the 25 pound mark once again!

*updated to add that I did throw away the cheesecake. And then I had a moment of silence...

Random Thoughts

I have so much to write about, yet, I don't have the brain power to form complete thoughts. So, instead, I will just leave my random thoughts. I may or may not fill in the details at a later time.

• I put Major Hunk on a plane today and watched him fly off again for the Middle East. It does not get easier with practice.
• We had a fantabulous time. We had some really special times and some really "normal" family times. Those were the most special of all.
• The Cutie never fully warmed up to him over the course of his leave. It made us both a little sad even though we understood.
• I am very sad that our local gelato shop has closed down. Days like today definitely call for some chocolate gelato! Just thinking of the Racer and I stopping dead in our tracks and gasping at the sight of the wide open space that was, only 2 days before gelato deliciousness, makes me laugh...every time.
  
• I love that the Racer was updating for me. I really love the pictures of us with our guys. She is such a great friend.
  
• I agree. That picture of us is sugary sweet and at any other point in my life probably would have made me throw up a little. That was also the first time my husband has ever danced with me...EVER.
  
• That chocolate fountain was delicious! Why didn't we take some pictures of that?? Oh right, because I was always standing in front of it blocking the view.
  
• Rumor has it that the groom said he needed a big piece of cake with extra frosting because he needed the extra calories. Um...excuse me???
• My daughter was the fun director this week. She liked to tell us what game to play and who's turn it was. If you tried to deviate from her directives, she would clearly correct you. Do not tickle out of turn!!
  
• I think I may have been bitten with the baby fever bug.
• I am craving Famous Dave's barbeque sandwich sampler! I think I must go there.
  

Enough randomness for today. Have a blessed day!

Our Hunks of Burnin Love

My Deadliest Catch and me. Before I indulged in 84,000 kabobs under a chocolate fountain. I seriously considered just sticking my head under the fountain of deliciousness.

Captain Mom and Major Hunk. So sugary sweet it'd make you barf except for the fact that it's so wonderful that they're together. Kind of like how I felt about the chocolate fountain.

Sackcloth and Ashes

So, here's a picture of my new haircut. This pic is less than flattering, but I'm not vain, remember? I had no makeup on (because I was saving up for my $800 miracle in a compact).

I got a cute picture of Cpt Mom and Major Hunk last night at a wedding we attended. I want to post it so badly, but do not have permission from her, and apparently I have a hair up my butt and am feeling the need to respect her by waiting for her to say ok. I told you I was in a weird funk.

I have some very sad news to share. So sad, I'm not sure that I'm ready to put it out there yet, but I guess I have to share it sometime. Yesterday, Cpt Mom, Major Hunk, My Deadliest Catch, Dirty Job and I went out to lunch. After lunch Captain and I suggested going for gelato. We had gone on Tuesday and had told them we'd be back soon because they didn't have pumpkin that day (obviously just an excuse to come back). So we head over to the mall and make the trek through the department store and up the elevator. We are walking towards the gelato kiosk, when, AT THE SAME TIME, Cpt and I gasp. The sick feeling in my gut is returning just thinking about it. Where our precious gelato stand was stands nothing. They are gone. Up and vanished.

Once we recovered from the pure shock of it all, I ran down the escalator and asked the information desk if they possibly just change locations. No such luck. I am writing them a strongly worded email, pleading with them to reopen. I've lost 35 lbs eating gelato. I am their walking advertisement. Cpt Mom and I tell EVERYONE about them. We even plotted to set our friend up with one of the Lombardo men so we could get them to marry and benefit from their union in the form of free gelato for life.

If they decline my desperate invitation to reopen, Cpt Mom, myself and our children will be holding a candlelight vigil next week. Until then, you can find me mourning in a gallon of ice cream, with the song "Nothing Compares to U" running through my mind.