What's my focus?

For a dose of perspective, go check out this post on the Internet Cafe.

What a timely message for me to read as I enter into this very real transition time in my life.

Thanks, God.

Weigh In

Well, I forgot to post my weight loss last week so let me begin there. Last week I had lost 1.4 pounds and hit the 29 pound mark. Then I got the news about my hubs coming home and with all the sleep deprivation and eating celebration, this week's weigh in took a big hit. I gained 2.8 pounds. I won't lie. I am very disappointed. Not only did I not make the 30 pound mark like I had hoped, I set myself further back in attaining that.

Oh Well...Back up on the horse. Nothing is going to rain on my parade this week!

A Week Indeed

In light of the fact that Captain's main squeeze will be home at some point this week, I'm pretty sure that NOTHING I blog about even compares to that praise report! That's all I have to say really.

EXCEPT that did you know that Word World carries "toys" at Target now? That's Dirty Job's most favorite cartoon. I bought him "og" today. Know to people who speak clearly as "Dog." And if I was smart enough, Dog would be at the bottom of this post instead of the top. I don't know how to fix that, so I won't.

He is on American Soil...

I am going to try include a picture of some of the soldiers from my husband's unit getting off the plane at their reintegration station. I haven't seen him yet, that will come later this week. But, when he texted this picture to me, I had myself a big, fat cry.



My husband is home safely from war.

I think I just took my first breath since 2006.

For the Love Of All Things Random...

First of all, my computer has been broken for over a week. It has been eye-opening for me to see how often I just "jump on" the computer. And how easily I avoid household chores when my computer is around. Maybe this would explain the phenomenon that is my messy house.

This has also made my visits with the Racer oh-so-very-exciting. I basically come to her house and sit down at the computer and check all the posts that she has said, "you have to read so-and-so's post from today". Yes, we really do talk about blogs in real life. Is that weird?

So my husband is officially on his way! I can't give you specific dates for security purposes, but suffice it to say that the homecoming ceremony has been planned. And basically, I CAN HARDLY STAND IT!!! I went to the store and came back with diapers and poster supplies and paints and grand plans of making witty posters while I eat Cinnamon Buns Ben & Jerry's. I am going to try not to keep the Racer up all night with all my excitement and posters and such. Oh, and all the texting! I think I have sent and received more texts this week from my "wives" than cumulatively in the past 2 years. You can only imagine the excitement flowing over the cellular text waves- or whatever they are called.

I had some giant conviction served up to me Wednesday night at bible study. But, through it, the Lord has really shown me my need to slow down. It has also renewed a desire to get in His word each morning before I tackle my day. So, I am thankful for that.

I got my homecoming outfit!! After many shopping trips and much deliberation, I finally settled on a pink satiny shirt with my new favorite, life-changing, Long and Lean Gap Jeans. (Insert a big shout-out to the Racer's sister for introducing us to these jeans!) If you haven't experienced them yet, check them out! Really...they are the magical jeans. Now, friends, I am neither long nor lean. So, that should speak volumes about their value. We took a friend into the Gap wearing Lee Riders...we left there with her looking just the right amount of sexy in her long and leans. I am pretty sure they will change her husband's life for at least a few moments in time.

And I can't forget to mention that I lost another 1.4 pounds. This brings my total to 29 pounds! My goal is to lose at least 1 more before he gets here to hit that 30 pound mark. Then the challenge of maintaining while we eat out at the many restaurants that he has missed.

I am having a difficult time completing a thought these days, so excuse the mess that is this post. I did include "random" in the title, so you should have known what you were getting into.

Happy Weekend!!

**Edited to note: I have not made any posters in the past 2 hours, but I did eat the Ben & Jerry's.**

Precious

Have I ever mentioned how much Corporal Cutie and Dirty Job's friendship warms my heart? They are the best of friends. And they have become absolutely adorable to watch. Seeing this petite little girl and tall, rough boy embrace is heart-melting.

This afternoon while we were at the Racer's house, Dirty Job woke up from a nap. My Cutie raced up stairs to greet him. He was tired and not thrilled about being awake (I know the feeling, brother). She announced, "My Dirty Job awake." (Obviously she used his real name, we don't walk around calling each other by psuedo-names.) But, I digress. It was absolutely precious.

I am now typing away to the sound of them playing the sneezing game. Which, if you haven't ever played, goes something like this. We take turns pretending to sneeze. And, in case you were wonering, it is absolutely hilarious. If you are 2 & 3, that is.

Update

Well, I know you all have been on pins and needles and such to see if and when my husband will arrive. As is the army way, we have spent lots of time hurrying up and waiting. Last week I got a call from him that he was leaving about a week early to meet up with a group that had been stranded somewhere in Asia. Woo Hoo! (To clarify: I am excited that he would be leaving early, not that the others were stranded.) Then a few days later to say that they had met up with the other group and it appears as though there are no scheduled flights out for a while. (Good thing they rushed over, huh?) So, now we are left with a bunch of non-answers. Then we heard they would be delpayed and wait for the next group to arrive. Maybe Thursday, maybe Monday. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

But, don't you worry, we wives are all over it. If there is any information to be had, we will sniff it out. It is almost comical how many times a day my phone rings asking if I have any new information. And each call ends with "if you hear anything else, let me know". I have reached the point where I just laugh and we take turns reminding each other that they will indeed, be home soon. Even if we don't know how soon that will be.

The beauty of it all is that he is safe and sound and out of a war zone. I never realized what a toll this played in my sub-conscious until the first time I said it aloud and teared up.

So, while I wait, I take much comfort in knowing that my husband is safe and is on his way home to me...no matter how long it may take.

Other Bad News from Last Week

Last week, I received some pretty scary news. My younger brother had been assaulted in front of his apartment. Since then, he has had surgery to repair the bone surrounding his eye that the surgeon believes was hit with a metal pipe. We are extremely hopeful and optimistic that he will have a full recovery with no permanent damage to his vision. The surgeon went in through the eye, so there shouldn't be any scarring. And in case you were wondering, no, my brother is not a hoodlum. He is actually a PhD student with a baby coming in six weeks...his recovery should be complete just in time to welcome his son!

In the moments of uncertainty, when we didn't know when he would have surgery, where his wife would stay while he was at the hospital, how my dad would react with the neighbors, etc... I was able to stand at the throne of my savior on behalf of my brother and sister in love. I was able to ask prayer for him and know that I had friends who were interceding on his behalf. I am so glad to serve such a personal God, who I can approach for even the littlest things. It takes my breath away sometimes.

I know I am biased, but I think my brother is pretty incredible. He is an amazing husband, a great brother and son, an outstanding student, and most significantly, he's the Lord's. When I gave my heart to Christ, my brother was in a place where he did not believe in the slightest. And through an amazing journey, he is now a believer and God has blessed him with a believing wife and in laws who love the Lord. I pray that this time of HUGE trial will draw not only he and his wife closer to the Lord, but my parents and sister as well. Because God is big enough to use even a devastating situation to restore people to Him.

As the Lord leads, please join me in prayer for provision and healing for my brother and his family. God has already been so incredibly faithful.

In a Nutshell

Last week, I had my first meeting with Dirty Job's new "support coordinator." In case you didn't know, "support coordinator" really stands for employee of the state who wants you to have the least amount of services so that some other kid can use the money. OR the money can just sit there because it's already dedicated to long term care. At least in this case that's what it stands for.
Anyhoo, the woman is nice, just very quick to scrimp on the services my son will receive. And on top of it all, there is a communication barrier between us. She doesn't understand everything that I am saying, and I don't understand everything she is saying.
So, after much prompting and finally raising my voice, she got authorization faxed over for him to continue his OT (occupational therapy). When she called over to his therapy center, she told them under NO CIRCUMSTANCES would she approve 2 hours of therapy a week, which is what he has been getting since his second or third week of therapy so many months ago. All this to say, I will be requesting a new support coordinator. Ugh. This process can be so frustrating at times.
I'm so glad to know that Dirty Job has a great OT who held his spot for him while we worked out the paperwork. I'm thankful that his speech therapist has continued to see him twice a week, even though they have heard boo from the support coordinator. Mostly, I am thankful for my God who has my little man's best interest always at heart. ALWAYS. He's doing the fighting where there seems to be stagnancy.

Believe

The Lord's timing never ceases to amaze me. I know He's amazing and all, but the way He weaves life circumstances and lessons all together for His purpose and His glory....WOW...He's got mad skillz.

This week has been a complete overload of every possible emotion I can think of right now... and yet God's faithfulness is evident. He is still good and HE ALONE is in control. And I am so thankful to be in the Word over my head through the Believing God study. Because if I wasn't, well, let's just say I may have needed to be institutionalized.

I'll be updating with some specifics, just for my own benefit. I just am still in the middle of wading through some of those rough waters.

God, thank You so much for being in the midst of it all. Thank you for your hand of protection and guidance. I ask for peace for my family and healing for those close to me. I stand believing that Your plan in all of this will change the course of eternity for those I love.

Processing

There was much debate in my military wives community whether or not we would attend the homecoming of the first wave of soldiers to return from our unit. I was excited to see them home. I was there to see them all leave their families and I felt it important to see them reunited as well. No, my husband is not in this group. As of right now, I don't even know which group he will be in. There will be 3, possibly 4, groups to return our 432 soldiers back into their families arms.

I don't even know how to process what it is that I experienced today. It was pride, excitement, disappointment and gratitude all wrapped into one. I shed some tears. Some for the pride that I felt in getting to be a part of something so powerful. Some for the excitement of watching these families waving at their soldier as if they might burst with joy. Some for the disappointment that I don't know how long I have to wait for this day to be mine. And many for the gratitude that all 432 soldiers will be reunited with their families. Our God is big , people. This unit flew more combat missions than any other in the 8 years supporting OEF. They have suffered no casualties and were awarded only 1 purple heart. As the General said today, "In civilian speak, they flew a lot of missions and they kicked a lot of butt." Well said, General.

I don't know what else to say as I am still processing, but I look forward to doing it again soon.

Now...I need to go make some more signs.


Lord God, thank you for your divine power. Thank you for being the God that beats the odds. I pray that each soldier will be reunited quickly and safely with their family. Allow each family to have a time of pure enjoyment and relax in this moment. Ease the anxieties that creep in as you reunite with someone you haven't lived with in such a long time. Create smooth transitions for each family. And most of all, Lord, allow each soldier and their family members to feel your ever-present love in their homes and in their hearts. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Weighing In

Well, since I have been silent on this front, you can probably guess that my weight loss journey has taken a back seat since the holidays. I have been able to maintain and even lost a couple of pounds over the past month, so it has all worked out fine.

But, I am pleased to announce that I have been distracted.
I am distracted because my husband is COMING HOME after 21 months!!!

Here's hoping I can use my nervous energy for good instead of eating myself senseless.

Updated Stats:

Starting weight: 188.4
Todays' weight: 160.6
Total loss: 27.8

Ok, so looking back, I was 161.2 on Nov 20. Wow, I have lost .6 pounds in a month and a half. That is ridiculous. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful that I haven't gained.
However, it is good accountability for me to see that written out. Here's hoping that I can find the motivation to lose the last 15 pounds now that my life is going to be in major transition.

Either way, I am looking forward to stepping into this new phase in my life.

(Priceless)

Dress: $3.47
Shirt: $2.00

I thought my $9 dress I picked up last week was a steal...apparently I was wrong.

I'm givin myself a thumbs up on good stewardship. But only because we're learning about it at church.

These bargains hardly ever find their way into my hands...

Leavin' On a Jet Plane...

Don't Know When I'll Be Back Again...

That has been my life for the past 21 months. My Major Hunk has been deployed for all these months. For security purposes, we can not be given a return date. So, for the past 21 months, I have said, my husband should be home by March-May 2008. Then we were told February. Possibly January. Well, the army motto, for those of you who don't know, is "Hurry up and Wait." I know, you probably thought it was "Army of One", but for those who have experienced the army life, it is the former. So, since that clock hit midnight on 2008, all 432 families have been in a holding pattern. Just waiting to hear word of the impending homecoming. Because they are such a large unit, they will return in waves or parties. So, the past few months have been full of talk of such.

I give you all this history to make this announcement. (I understand that this will probably not be meaningful to you.)

The advanced party has landed in the US. After a few days of reintegration briefings, they will be descending on our great state.

This is not my husband, but that means he will be heading out soon. So, I continue in the holding pattern, but knowing that some other husband (who has been working with my husband) will be home soon, gives me great hope that this long deployment is truly coming to an end!

Yippee!!

Conspiracy Theory

Don't worry, ya all. I am NOT pregnant. I took a test and right after peeing on a stick to tell me I wasn't preggers, I started my "cycle." It was a lovely way to waste a few bucks. However, there is a plot among ALL babies I come in contact with to make my ovaries burst with the desire to have a third. No lie, on Thursday morning I was at Bible Study and I was surrounded by cuteness...adorable babies making all sorts of precious cooing noises. I almost had to leave the room. And then there was this business of THE CUTEST baby boy at Cpt Mom's meeting that I do childcare for. I can't even describe the preciousness of him. And when my Dirty Job came up to him and squished his cheeks and said " I love you" well my heart about burst (probably from the bursting of the ovaries). Also, a friend of mine (from church) just found out she is pregnant ~ and pregnancies go in cycles at our church...something in the water...I'll be avoiding the water as long as possible, but it's quite possible that Cpt Mom may find me secretly drinking out of the hose spout there trying to get some of that "baby water" in me. It's a conspiracy I tell you.

As of this moment in time, the Reality Family will not be having any babies. My hubs is not on board for that, and we got some work related news that may put #3 on the back burner for quite some time.

But some great news: My Deadliest Catch and I are attending a Bible Study together. Yep, together. We are going through Believing God, and I am banking on the fact that at the end of the 10 (well, now 9) weeks, I will have some pretty incredible things to blog about. I believe God has some pretty neat stuff in store for our family of 4.

Look Away, I'm Hideous

I underestimated my acne problem...way underestimated. This acne is having a party and invited friends.

It better be from pms and not that I'm pregnant.

I'm just sayin...

Startin School and Failin a Test

My Dirty Job started preschool today. We got to the classroom door, opened it, Dirty Job waved to the therapist and teacher, and went to the shelf to get some animal toys. I stood in the doorway like an idiot, not sure what to do. I did not have a meltdown like I had envisioned, instead only getting teary on the drive over.

When I went to pick him up after my coffee date, he was happy and ready to go. Smooth transition if I've ever seen one. He obviously painted today, as his shirt is smudged with black paint. It was a moment in time that I really wished he could talk, because I wanted to know every detail of the day.

Dirty Job also had his medical assessment today for long term care. He needs to "fail" the test in order to continue receiving speech therapy and occupational therapy outside of school. He could also potentially get some horse therapy through these services and HELLO can I just tell you that Dirty Job HEARTS horses. So, yes, this was an important thing. While the dear social worker can't guarantee it, she said she's pretty positive that he failed enough to receive services. YAY for failure!!!! I'm sure my son will read this one day and use it against me when he does sub par on something else, but for today we rejoice in his shortcomings! The greatest thing about it was that as soon as the social worker walked out the door he began to label the shark and guitar that were on TV.

Twas a celebratory morning for my boy. We are so grateful that the Lord is in the details.

Just another tidbit

And because we have had TMI overload...

I am having a serious bout with acne. And I am losing.

I'm 30...but my face looks like I'm in the throes of adolescence.

That is all.

He's 3 People!

My boy turned 3 yesterday. I can't hardly believe it. I remember so much about the day he was born. How have 3 whole years passed by?

My Dirty Job also starts school tomorrow. He will be going to preschool 4 days a week. I'm pretty sure that I'm going to cry. School is going to mean all sorts of cool things for him, thought, so I will trudge through the letting go process. He'll be getting more speech and occupational therapy there, and he gets to do all sorts of fun stuff. I am excited for him.

This year has been so many ups and downs in our journey with our boy. He has brought me immeasurable amounts of joy and daily laughter. One of my favorite things he is doing right now is that when I tell him it's time for a nap or bed, he looks over, shakes his head and says, "Nooo." His cute little voice just makes my heart melt, and it takes all I have in me not to let him stay up until all hours...ok, sometimes I let him, but only because it's the cutest. I love how much he enjoys his big sister, his church grandma and Cpt Mom (and getting in her car or truck). This past Friday he said his first 2 word sentence...Dad go. What a celebration I had. We had a great week of playing out front without running away, walking through a store (instead of being in a cart or stroller), and our last session with his early interventionist, whom we adore. God is answering our prayers indeed. What a miracle our guy is!


The Lord has used him to help me redefine some relationships. Any momma's heart is going to pick up on those who don't want to be "bothered" with your children. It has been such a blessing to create a boundary or two (seriously, that's about it) and it's also been good to let go of expectations of others. Different friendships sometimes are only for a season, and I can have a hard time with that. Thankfully, God used my boy to remind me of that and to remind me that it's ok!

I am so beyond hopeful for what this year holds for my son. I pray this is a year that God just blows me away with all that He does for my little boy. I'm confident that that'll happen regardless of how it is measured!

I'm so blessed to have a son. I never knew how much I would love that dirty boy smell!!!

TMI

I just returned from a party that majored in TMI. I find it interesting that in a society where, in general, we lack intimacy in relationships, people are so free to share things about their physical intimacy.

I don't know what else to say about that.

A Shout Out to '08

Well, here we are, already on the second day of January. This year already has the rumblings of a good year. You know, the unsaid yet fully there undercurrents of your life....the rumblings. I know, I totally just made that up, but I'm allowed to. Everyone knows I'm full of carp (as Cpt spelled to me earlier today).

I just think there are so many things to look forward to in 2008, things that I don't even know about. I just know that the Lord is up to some good stuff! And I know that because He's always up to something good. Even the hard stuff is good for me when I look at it from an eternal perspective.

I'm excited to tackle this year, celebrations and heartaches, with my Deadliest Catch. I feel we have reached just a sweet season in our marriage. It's fun to be loving someone for so long. We've tackled some tough stuff in our 8 years of marriage, and have been refined through it. I feel like we've reached a place where we don't use one another's weaknesses against the said person. I'm sure that will creep back in from time to time, but I pray not. I pray I will continue to NAIL MY BIG MOUTH to the cross and leave it there for heaven's sake!!!!

My Dirty Job turns three and starts preschool within the next 5 days. Talk about some changes in this mama's life! I'm hoping to not cry my eyeballs out, but it sure is going to be hard. My baby is a big boy...I'm pretty sure that he is going to absolutely love school and not miss me at all. I'm praying that the positive peer pressure will spark his language, and I'm even daring to pray for language that will allow me to march into the developmental pediatrician's office and show her the miracle that GOD has done in DJ's life. Most of all, I am praying that Dirty Job will learn more about our sweet Jesus and will "catch" some examples of Godly living in My Deadliest Catch's and my life.

What Not to Wear is on a fashion high, people. I am going to post evidence soon. She is her own little lady with her own sense of hipness. I love it. I'm excited to see how she grows and changes over this year. I pray she will keep her compassionate heart and her mother's heart. She can be quite overbearing in her desire to "mother" everyone, but I know it'll be a gift to others as she grows into a young lady. My sister has a mother's heart, and it has been a blessing to me in many ways.

So, none of this had anything to do with what I intended to write about. Funny how that works. Apparently 2008 won't be the year I stay focused!!!!