The Prodigal

Our pastor has been preaching the past 2 weeks on the parable of the Prodigal Son. I can't say I have "enjoyed" it because the series has brought much conviction to my life. I can't seem to get it out of my head. And, frankly, I am at a place in which I feel a little annoyed at all the conviction. (Just keepin' it real, folks.) But, I don't ever want to knowingly ignore something the Lord is trying to teach me- even when it hurts. So, I feel the need to work it out a little here on "paper". I love how an old story that I have heard so many times can become new as something else is revealed that I never noticed before. The Lord's Word is so rich.

In all the years that I have read the story of the Prodigal Son, I have always noticed the parallels to our relationship to the Lord. We are the prodigal, He is the father. We recognize our need for Him. He, in His goodness and faithfulness and unconditional love, runs to us. He throws a party when another child willingly enters His kingdom. It's a great story. You can read it here in Luke.

Last week, the focus was on the role of the father. The father allowed the son to live as he chose. He did not heap guilt on the son for his choices. He gave his son the inheritance he asked for even though it brought much shame to his house in the eyes of the world. The father was willing to be undignified in front of others by running to greet his son. And, the father sees his son's heart upon his return. He never focused on his words or actions. He gave the son his best and celebrated. And the part that I haven't been able to get out of my mind...he fattened a calf in expectation that the son would return. This was when it really hit home. In some relationships in my life, I am the father. Not, The Father, but the father. Others have squandered my love for them. And how do I react? I say that I am expecting their return and that I will go to them in unconditional love. But, frankly, I expect that if I were to run to them today, I would bring some words of guilt and condemnation along with me. I certainly have not been "fattening a calf" in my expectation. So, while I may be the father in my role, I am certainly not the father in my actions.

And this week, the focus was on the older brother. I won't lie, when the pastor began, I didn't even want to hear what he had to say about this. I knew enough about the story to know that the brother was bitter and angry. And honestly, I am bitter and angry about some things in my life. The brother harbored unforgiveness in his heart toward his younger brother. The older brother not only harbored bitter feelings toward his brother, but also toward the father for his unconditional love. The brother was so focused on the work he did for his father's house, that he had lost sight of why it was important (the relationship). And, he was angry because his brother didn't deserve the attention he was getting. He hadn't earned it. He had squandered his father's riches and brought disgrace. Shouldn't he pay at least a little for that? And, more than anything, the brother was pouting and having a pity party because it was unfair that he had made the right choice and he didn't even get a goat for his own celebration. Yes, indeed, I can relate to the brother. And, then it was clear. In those same relationships, I am actually the brother. I say that I want the "lost one" to come home, but when I see them coming, I am bitter and angry and filled with feelings of injustice. I am unwilling to go out and greet them. I want them to have to make the walk alone as others watch. I want them to feel the weight of their choices. I feel as though I often make the better choice and then am jealous when I do not receive a party in my honor. For the first time, I can see deep into my heart. Inside I find some bitterness, unforgiveness, pride and a little bit of self-righteousness. Eeeww. As I type all this out, I am embarrassed by my attitude. I am tempted to delete those last few sentences, because it reveals a part of my heart that is ugly. A part that, frankly, I don't want others to know exists. But, I know that the Lord honors our efforts when we are willing to be honest and vulnerable. I want to change it. I want to cleanse the ugly parts of my attitude. The hope is knowing that God never puts me in a box. He always offers a better way. The brother was just as lost as the prodigal. And when he didn't come in to the party, the father came out to his son. The father did not get a bad attitude toward the older brother and ignore his antics. The good news is that God has not written me off just because I have an ugly attitude. He has an entire inheritance that already belongs to me because I am His. I have been failing to recognize the privileges I have as a daughter to the King. I don't need a party or fattened calf to celebrate. Each and everyday I get to live out the blessings of the Father's love. And, most importantly, he reveals His Word to show me the better way.

So, today, even though I have been living like the brother, I am striving to act like the father. And, I am confident in His ability to show me the way.

I am already anticipating the lesson in which my role as the prodigal becomes more clear.

And who knows which other roles we will learn about. Maybe the fattened calf...I am sure there is some spiritual lesson there to be had.

An update of sorts

I like to keep both our readers updated, you know :)

• While still having contractions on a daily basis, I have not had any regular pattern or any activity that has been concerning since Easter Sunday.  I wonder what it will say about this little guy's personality if he decides to stay put after all this??
• Our girl is getting a speech evaluation this week.  The girl's got language covered.  She talks and talks...and talks.  But, she does have some sound production issues I want to have looked at.  And I won't lie, I am interested in some free preschool if she qualifies :)
• Our family went to Sea World this weekend.  I have always loved amusement parks.  But, watching my daughter experience it was a special kind of beautiful.
• Our truck broke down last week.  That cost a fortune.  Good times...
• And the biggest news of all...Major Hunk and I have narrowed the name list to 3 possibilities.  This baby will have a name!

Other than these oh-so-exciting things, I continue to wait on the Lord.  With a new addition coming soon and all the changes that will bring, the enemy is really trying to induce fear in my life.  I will not succumb.  Yes, we still do not have full time income.  Our very small income is about to decrease by half when I stop working in 3 weeks.  And our budget will need to increase to account for the baby.  I am not even going to think about the medical bills...  But, my God has a plan.  None of this has taken Him by surprise.  He knows every step that my family is going to take in the next day, week, year and lifetime.  And even though when I list it all out here, it overwhelms me.  I will not live my life in fear.  My God has already claimed the victory and I will continue to stand (or allow Him to hold me up, depending on the day) and wait on Him to reveal His plan.  

And I know it's going to be good.  So much better than we could do on our own.

Good Friday

Good Friday is a day that I believe gets a bad rap.  It is really a beautiful love story from God to His people.  It is violent and brutal and difficult to consider.  But, if there had been no Good Friday, there would be no Easter Sunday.  If Jesus hadn't died, He would not have been ressurrected.  And if not for the ressurrection, we would not have the promise of heaven.

Even though she is only 3, I have been discussing Jesus's death and ressurrection with the Cutie.  I am so amazed to see how much she "gets".  The other day I overheard he as she flipped through my bible saying: "And the people were mean to God.  It was sad.  He got up on Easter."  I was awed by her tender heart toward the Lord.  Awed by the fact that she could receive the Lord's word even when I do such a poor job explaining such a complicated and abstract concept.  

And my heart melts even more when I look in my rear-veiw mirror and see her singing her heart out to David Crowder Band's "Never Let Go".  That's what true worship looks like...

Happy Easter!

The Growing in Waiting

I have heard this song many times over, but one day, it fell fresh on my ears.  I haven't been able to get it out of my head since.  I am in a place of waiting.  Waiting and trusting.  And it is difficult.  I certainly have not mastered the art of serving while I am waiting.  And I definitely haven't mastered the patiently part.  But, it reminds me what I am striving for.  

If I was techy enough, I would get the music on here so you can hear it.  But I am not.   I hope you will google it and that it ministers to your heart as well.

While I'm Waiting by John Waller

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience

While I’m waiting
I will serve You
While I’m waiting
I will worship
While I’m waiting
I will not faint
I’ll be running the race
Even while I wait

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it’s not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting on You, Lord

© 2007 Travelin’ Zoo Music (ASCAP) (admin. by EMI CMG Publishing)

A Place of My Own.

Last night in our bible study, the pastor touched on a topic that I have heard so many times. But, last night, it hit me in a whole different way.

John 14:2- In my Father's house, there are many rooms...I am going there to prepare a place for you.

He explained to us that in the original language, this word meant a place just for you. It can't be filled by any other. If you don't fill it, it will be left empty. I guess in the past I have always taken that verse to mean that He prepared a place for us. A place for all of us believers to go, meaning heaven in general.

It really got me thinking. I think our hearts are made in this image. I think there is a place in each parent's heart that has a place prepared for each of our children. And it is a place that no matter how many we love, it can not be filled by anyone but them. No other child can fill the other's place. No matter how many children we have. Our hearts just grow bigger allowing new spaces to be created for each child the Lord intends to be ours.

I love how the Lord uses our relationship as parent and child show us a little bit of Himself.

It's not about that.

So, once again, I find myself up in the middle of the night. Thoughts racing through my head. "Where is my purse?" "Why am I so thirsty?" "Why are all these difficult times happening to those that I love?" "God, can't you let these people who are going through trials, just have a break?" "Why is is just one after another after another?" "I'm hungry, where are those nuts I just bought?" I know, my mind, it's a scary and complicated place...

I pull up a blog in which the author offers to give back to her readers by praying for them. I read through the 89 comments. I have some definite prayer requests. But, as I continue to read, I realize something. The things I have been praying for are just that, "things". And, as I read, I ponder the fact that I feel far away from God in a lot of ways. The worst part is, I didn't even really know it. And then I realize...this "thing"...this situation...It is so much bigger than that. So much more important than knowing where our next paycheck will come from. It is about the fact that the God of the universe loves me enough to want more for me. Even when I am too short sighted to want more for myself.

As I began reading those comments, my prayer requests were that my husband would find a job. That we would once again have insurance. That this baby will continue to grow strong and healthy. That I could even begin to wrap my mind around bringing another life into my realm of crazy. But, as I finished reading, the Lord had spoken to my heart. This is really about faith. Those other things, they are just by-products of life, of being a human in this world. The real problem is that I have grown complacent. I have become numb to the healing touch of my God because of some hard lessons that life has thrown my way in the past few years. Life hurts sometimes, and I have become guarded. Guarded in hopes that each sting will hurt a little less than the last. (It didn't work.) But, by becoming guarded, all I have really protected myself from is feeling my Father's touch. From allowing His healing balm to be applied to my heart.

I have so many blessings in my life. I have a beautiful (and growing) family. I have people in my life who love me so big that it's incredible. I have a home, a car, plenty of food, and there is still money in the bank. I'm living the dream, really. It is what I always wanted for my life: to be a wife and mom and be surrounded by people that I love. Then, why do I still feel so dissatisfied? Because I have been going about it wrong. I have been trying to do and have all these things and calling on God when times get hard. He wants more than that for me. He wants more than that for you. I don't want God to have to rock my world in a way that devastates me before I learn to lean on Him for my every step. I want to live that way now, in this moment.

Lord, forgive me for my complacent attitude. Forgive my hardened heart and the fact that I have ignored you in many areas. Please, remind me to pray. There are so many needs that I forget to bring to you. Even though you know them anyway, help me to be obedient in my need to bring them. Change my heart. Help me to see my need for you in everything. And, please, help me to be a more joyful wife and mother. I no longer want to take my blessings for granted. And, Lord, please help me to lay it all at your feet. To stop beating myself up over the fact that I haven't prayed enough, haven't been in your word enough, haven't trusted enough or had enough faith. Help me to begin new today, right now. I love you and I want you to change my life. Amen.

Thank you God that you still change people even after you have given lots of chances. Thank you that you will still speak to me, even in the middle of the night at my computer. And thank you God that you love me even though you know I am headed off to bed with my mind whirling with new questions, "How did I get so lucky?" "How many almonds did I just consume?" and still, "Where is my purse?" But, mostly, I go to bed with a new found peace that my God, who loves me enough to wake me from my slumber, still reigns.

Yesterday, today and tomorrow.

He Is.




*When you have some time, head over to MckMama's blog and read about the miracle that is their story*

Always on time

Yesterday, at church, I felt such refreshing to my spirit. During worship, I was reminded that our God is always right on time. Even when we doubt His timing, it is always perfect. In fact, I believe it is especially when we doubt, that He makes it clear that He is right on time.

I have been living in worry. Now, in the world's eyes, I have much to worry about. But, I have One who lives in me that transcends worry. And frankly, I haven't been acting like it. I have been carrying my worry around in my back pocket. I ignore it much of the time, but lately, as times get harder, I pull it out and look at it. I talk to it, I stare at it, I practically hug it's neck. Friends and family like to pull it out as well, and remind me of my situation.

But, this morning, I laid it at His feet. I was reminded of His promise to never leave me or forsake me. So, I left it there. And I felt a lightness that I haven't felt in a while.


Now, 17hours later, I am awakened in the middle of the night, and worry has again flooded my soul. I am throwing myself at His feet begging Him for that peace that transcends understanding. Because, honestly, I can't understand right now. I can't see a way. But, I know that is when the miracles come.

Friends, please pray with me that I can leave this worry there. That I will trust Him, more than I will see our circumstances. And, more than anything else, that this experience will remind me of God's sovereignty.

Right.on.time.

I will be clinging to these verses for a while:
Hebrews 13:5. Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."

Phillipians 4:7. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Houston, we have a problem...

Last night our pastor was teaching a message on God's will for our lives. He was sharing how 99.9% of God's plan for our lives is spelled out in the Word just waiting for us to search it out.

The point that has really stuck with me was an illustration he used about a rocket. Did you know that if a rocket is even 1 degree off it's intended target at takeoff, that it can be hundreds of thousands of miles off it's intended target when it gets into space? That got me thinking that if my life is even 1 degree off of it's intended target of God's will for my life, that in the future, I could be far off the mark. I could end up in a place that looks nothing like God's intended will for my life. Uh Oh. But, what about grace? Well, the rockets can be corrected by mission control and set back on course. Likewise, God is our "mission control". He can get me back on track and headed in the right direction. But, like the rocket, I have to be in communication with mission control. If we lose contact for even a few moments...

Lord help me to keep my eyes on the course. And remind me of the importance of being in constant contact with you, my "mission control".

must read

If you have children, love children, or find yourself surprised at our society's desensitization of all things se%ual, hop over to Vicki's blog and read this post.

I read her review and I still watched the clips with my mouth dropped open and my eyes bugged out. Shocking...that's all I can say about that. I would advise not watching the clips until your children are far, far away from the computer.

Vicki shares in her post how you can take action against this type of propaganda that our tax dollars are paying for. After read it, I hope you will join me in taking action.

Love really does redeem.

One of my favorite books is Francine Rivers "Redeeming Love". If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it. It is a historical fiction novel based on the book of Hosea. Yesterday as I was flipping through my bible, I decided to read the book of Hosea through it's entirety. I read chapter 1. Hosea 1:2 reads: When the Lord began to speak through Hosea, the Lord said to him, "Go, take to yourself an adulteress wife and children of unfaithfulness, because the land is guilty of the vilest adultery departing from the Lord." I was struggling to figure out why God would have asked His prophet Hosea to marry an adulterous woman. I know the obvious answer is because "the land is guilty of the vilest adultery in departing from the Lord." I read the commentary in search of better understanding. It talks about the feelings Hosea may have had when asked to do this. Of course, it focused on Hosea's steadfast faith that he would be willing to obey God knowing the hardship that it would bring. But thrown into the last sentence of the commentary was a question that I haven't been able to get out of my mind...It says, "Will you be able to accept the fact that the pain involved in obedience may benefit those you serve, and not you personally?"

Wow.

I reread it many times and I was quickly convicted of how often I choose whether or not to obey by the way it would make me "feel". Of course Hosea was benefited by his decision to be obedient to God. But, he lived out some real-life major consequences. He walked into a situation knowing that it was going to be a long, difficult road being called to love a woman who would betray him. He would have to seek her out and bring her back. He may even be called to pull her from another man's bed and then take her to his home and love her unconditionally. That's a hard road if I've ever seen one. That requires some big-time faith in your God.

I can't wait to explore this story as it unfolds. I am always humbled by the human illustrations that God provides in His word to reveal His never-ending, unconditional love.

the buddy leash

Warning: This post may be difficult to follow outside of my brain. Inside, it makes perfect sense.

During worship yesterday, I felt as though the Lord were showing me an illustration. I was singing "You Never Let Go". The chorus says:

"Oh, no, You never let go,
Through the calm and through the storm.
Oh no, You never let go,
Every high and every low.
Oh no, You never let go,
Lord, You never let go of me."

As I sang those words I started talking to the Lord. I started thanking Him for the reality that He never has let go. I have wandered. I have struggled. Sometimes, I have tried to hide. But, He has never let go. Then I got this picture in my head of a toddler on a buddy leash. You know, those little backpacks with the tails that you can hang onto so your child doesn't bolt into oncoming traffic, etc. I thought, that's the truth, isn't it, Lord? It's not so much that I am trying to get out of Your grasp, I am not. I really do want to be safe in Your will. It's just that I sometimes wander, unaware of the dangers that could be just ahead. My next thought was that I have been walking with the Lord long enough, that I really should know better. I can't expect Him to put me on a buddy leash as an adult. I should be more mature in my walk than that. And instantly, I felt the Lord revealing this to me: If my child, no matter how old, was a danger to herself with her wandering, I would not hesitate to slap on that buddy leash. Her safety is more important than the fact that she should "know better".

So, I asked the Lord to strap on my monkey backpack and hold onto me to keep me from wandering into dangerous territory. I have no doubt that He will use this time to continue to teach me and train me to be able to walk side by side with Him without the assistance. But, until then, I will continue to remind myself of the visual of me walking next to my Savior wearing my buddy leash.

the box

I love it when God uses a situation to remind me of His bigness. (Is that a word?)

I had a situation tonight that had me sick to my stomach. I was so sure that I knew how it was going to go down that it was really making my stomach hurt. The Racer, in her God-given wisdom told me to "just make the call". And I am so glad that I did. It really turned out the opposite of what I had envisioned. Without realizing it, I had put my God in a box. It never once crossed my mind that this conversation would have gone this way, in such a positive manner.

How often do I do that in life? I decide in my head how a situation will turn out. I will base it on previous experiences. My teaching background says I should base my plans on prior knowledge. Only, I have come to find out that this doesn't work for relationships. This limits people. If I go into a situation making presumptions based on history, then I am not allowing people the room to grow and change. I don't like it when people put me in a box and assume that I will do/say a certain thing just because I have acted that way in the past. I want to be allowed to learn lessons and change. I want to be able to grow and change as the Lord leads me. And I need to extend that to others.

How often have I pushed someone right back into their little box after they have fought long and hard to get out of there? Lord, thank you for this lesson tonight. I needed to hear it.

stuff

Well, I did not, in fact forget about my challenge to find my favorite post. Life got busy again and I hadn't had time to read over the past year's posts. After a brief skim, these two stood out: this and this. The first is for obvious reasons. It was one of the first times I had recognized that I, in fact, had been living on pins and needles. The second post is a great one that the Racer wrote on freedom. Reading it again, gave me a good reminder of extending grace. And that I can't really expect grace from non-believers when we believers struggle with it so. That's some good stuff.

Well, just after I wrote this post, I was given some opportunities to love like Jesus. Because our God is faithful, people. I was given an opportunity to love someone right where she was at. I just love how God delivers. He allowed me to learn some insightful lessons about myself while loving on someone else who really needed it that day. I also learned that I definitely need more practice in this area of my life. So, I imagine that means more opportunities are coming my way.

Today I was able to share in a milestone in What Not to Wear's life. I am sure her mama has some things to say about it, so I will let her share with you. But, let me just tell you that it made me reflect on my precious little girl and how fast she is growing up. Girls, I hope you dance...

I am off to a resort with my little family. My hubs has to work, but we will get some family time together in the evenings. Woo hoo!

Happy weekending!

lessons in awkwardness

Well, I just know you are oh, so, curious to hear my mother's day review. I just had to check in, as to not disappoint.

It was a great mother's day overall. I got to spend the day with the man who helped me realize my dream of becoming a mother. And, that my friends, I should not ever take for granted. We have a limited amount of time together, and he treasures every moment of our couple time. I, on the other hand, am distractable and unfocused. Hopefully, I can get it together and clearly see the blessing I have in him as my husband and father of our child.

The memorial service can be summed up this way...oh, the awkwardness.

I was able to see such grace in my husband yesterday. In the past, he has shown impatience at these types of events. There is history here that I won't get into, but suffice it to say, this was not our first awkward family occasion. My man was grace in action yesterday. He let the hurtful comments roll off his back, or the Lord covered his ears and he didn't even hear them. He helped with set up and clean up. He gladly did what he was asked even when it sounded odd to him. He sang beautifully. And most importantly, he spoke the truth in love when he was asked for his opinion on the service. He was such an example to me.

It is times like these that I am reminded of how much God loves every single one of us. It doesn't matter if we are quirky, awkward or say things that are plain out rude, He loves us just as we are. I want to be like that.

I want to love people more. I want to be less judgmental. I want to have more patience with people when I don't agree with their choices. Basically, I want to be more like the Christ whom I love so much.

The Good, The Bad and the Ugly

The Good:

-Dirty Jobs had a great check up with his pediatrician. He is talking more, listening/responding better, and frankly is cute as pie (and I adore pie).

-What Not To Wear is finished with homework for the rest of the kindergarten year. She also finished her first set of swim lessons and was promoted to the next level...yay. WNTW also keeps telling me that I am going to cry at her graduation. That is likely to happen. She knows her mama well.

-My Deadliest Catch is willing to put new flooring into the new house's living room and hallway before we move in. Which means no ugly blue carpet except in the bedrooms.

- I packed some boxes and I have maintain my weight at 131. I also made appointments with a dermatologist and the ob/gyn.

-Cpt Mom and I have been eating some delicious vegetables and there has been no ice cream in my house since Sunday. This, my friends, is what we call a miracle.


The Bad:

- Dirty Job still does not have his 2nd session of speech therapy due to a typo. Yes, a typo. This has been going on for months now.

- WNTW has been extra whiny. I don't know if it's end of the year blues, tiredness from swimming lessons or both. I'm ready for the WHINING TO STOP ALREADY.

- We cannot, because of ridiculous scheduling, move on a weekend. So we have to move on a Friday. When all of our friends work. Nice. My Deadliest Catch also has to take that same Friday off to do a sound check/rehearsal for a wedding. I am selfish and like days off to be fun, carefree, and family oriented. We absolutely love the peeps getting married. Like I said, it's just selfishness.

- I spit my Diet Cherry Pepsi out from laughing too hard during lunch on Cinco de Mayo. This par-tay foul is all too common in my life.

The Ugly

- Dirty Job dumped an entire bottle of shampoo out onto himself and then proceeded to slip and slide all over the empty bathtub. He also very intentionally drop kicked the Cutie today...totally RUDE.

-What Not To Wear had to point out my obvious bad attitude and awful temper today. Embarrassing.

- I have acne that rivals teens and I haven't been to the ob/gyn since '05. Not good.

-I'm running around accomplishing nothing, I'm super tired to the point of it being ridiculous, I have no patience, no kindness, and heaps of guilt.

Boom-Shaka-Laka

That title in no way relates to this post. Those words just popped into my head, and I put them down. Welcome to my random brain.

I haven't posted anything in awhile because, well, I started the same bible study as Cpt Mom, and that limits my words LIKE NO OTHER. I do have to confess, the last 2 mornings I haven't been able to do the study, and by 3 or 4pm my words and tone reflect that. Lovely. I am praying that much like developing better eating habits, thinking before speaking will become second nature. That's going to take some SERIOUS work of the Holy Spirit. Thankfully, He's up to the job!


In other news, it appears that my family is going to be moving. Into a house. That we are buying. That will be ours. I'm pretty sure I still can't believe it. The way the Lord worked through this is completely humbling...I am overwhelmed by His provision and His kindness towards me.

This means Cpt and I will be packing up our houses at the same time. This makes me laugh sadistically when I think about it too long. I'm sure it will make for some excellent stories. We are working up a calendar in which we trade off days of packing. Because really, who wants to pack alone with small children coming behind you and unpacking? At least this way, it's 2 boxes packed, 1 box unpacked. Unless Dirty Job is there. He can unpack like nobody's biz. He dumps out his box of toy animals at least 37 times a day. Needless to say, I will have to make sure the packing tape is next to me at all times in order to ensure some boxes make it out to the garage. Or that I can tape his arms down so he'd have to dump with his feet.

Can We Talk?

This is the title of the women's bible study we just started.

All I have to say is..." Wow."

The Lord has been patient with me on the topic of my words. Over time, I have felt the Lord's conviction over words I choose. I have a tendency to be sarcastic. I tend to say too much. Let me tell you, He has begun a mighty work in me with this study. Those convictions I have been feeling over time...they have been nothing compared to the all-out forehead slap that this bible study has brought with it.

So, as I venture into this new world of self-discovery and self-control, don't be surprised if the next time you see me, I don't have a lot to say.

I may have some holy duct tape over my mouth.

A Daddy's Approval

Here is a typical scene at our house... I get the Cutie dressed. I tell her she looks pretty. She says, "Show Daddy pretty." Then she prances out and says, "Daddy, look me." All the while with a big smile on her face. He tells her how pretty she is and they embrace. Then she wanders off to her next task with a huge smile of satisfaction on her face.

This morning, she has been climbing up and down our recliner. She is showing off her mad balance skillz. And she's got them for sure. All the while, she is says, "Daddy, watch me!" He reassures her that he is watching. Then she does it again. Each time, she reminds him to watch her. Then she does her next trick and waits for him to encourage her.

This little girl loves to show off for her daddy. I am intrigued that already, at the age of two, how important his approval is to her. I find it especially intriguing that they have been physically separated for so much of her life, yet she still has this strong desire to please him. It has been a good earthly reminder to me of how God made our hearts to desire Him. He made us creatures who desire to please our Daddy...our Heavenly One and our earthly one.

I read a book by John and Staci Eldredge once that states that it is the father who helps the child develop their identity, in both boys and girls. Boys need their dads to tell them they are good enough. Girls need their dads to tell them they are pretty.

I am so thankful that my little girl has a dad who encourages her and tells her she is pretty. But, I am even more thankful that she can grow up to know the One who made her with that desire. Because while, unfortunately, her earthly father will disappoint her, we serve the Father who never will. I pray that Major Hunk and I remember to always point her to the One who will never disappoint her and will always tell her she's pretty...just the way she is.

Lord, thank you for bringing this man into my life. As I watch him navigate the tricky waters of parenting, I fall in love with him more each day. And thank you for a little girl with a tender heart. I pray that it stays that way. And Lord, please help us to remember to live our lives in such a way that we continually point her to You. That we will live our lives in such a way that she can model our desire to please our Father. I pray that Your grace will cover our mistakes and that our little girl will grow to know, love and serve you all of her days. Thank you Jesus. Amen.

The truth will set you free...

I know, I know, the whole one of you reading is wondering why I'm not posting very often. I'm sure you check our blog 100x/day hoping I've updated with something funny happening in my life. So I thought I'd come clean and just share the truth. It's mildly humiliating to put on the world wide web, but I'm shameless when it comes to loving you, internet folk. Or when it comes to lovin me some Garth...either way...

The truth is this: Now that Major Hunk is home, I have no life. Not even a little. Apparently, Cpt Mom is my only friend, and now that she has, you know, balance in her life, I am a total and complete loser. We used to share fun adventures at Ben and Jerry's or Ross, but now the increments of time that I see her is spent with me SUCKING THE LIFE OUT OF HER so help me because I haven't had an adult conversation.

So there you have it. Me. No life. And therefore, no reason to blog.