A Yes and A No...Maybe

So, if you know me in actual life (and I'm pretty sure I've made mention of it on the blog), you know that for the past year or so, I have been on board to have a third child. Me. Not my Hubs. And in this family, having a child takes two yes' or an overrule by the Lord.

About 3 or 4 weeks ago, I really felt the Lord prompting me to lay down that desire. And few days after that, I had really let it go. I then proceeded to console myself with all things practical: we still have so much to focus on with Dirty Job, a third would stretch us even further time wise, financially, etc, I want to go back to school, and even really shallow things like our desire to take a 10 year anniversary cruise next year came to mind. And Cpt is pregnant, so I can snuggle and love on her baby.

So, last week, before the kids and I left for our visit to the grandparents, Hubs shared a lovely sentiment. It went something like this, "I think we should have a third." (That's the abbreviated version). And while my face couldn't stop smiling, my head about exploded with the bomb that was dropped.

I can't even begin to share everything going through my mind. His yes brings up so many questions. And my thoughts are a wee bit out of control about all of it. Where I used to feel ok about having some "control" over whether or not we were going to try to have another, my heart isn't sure how it feels about that philosophy since Baby Blues left us. So as I search God's Word for answers, and pray about our decision, I also ask Him for peace. I feel confident that I can receive the Lord's "yes" or "no," as long as I have Him.

Party at Grammy and Poppa's (Or how I ate my weight in Pineapple Whip)

Hello...White Rabbit...are you in there?

I am IN LOVE

The kids and I went to visit my parents this past (long) weekend. I picked up What Not To Wear from school about an hour early, and her teacher answered their door asking me if we were going to Disneyland. I told her I didn't think so, and gave my girl a look.

Apparently she and Grams have been in negotiations over a Disney visit, and by "negotiations" I mean my girl asked and her Grammy said of course. 1st grandchild typically gets what she asks for.

Long story short, we went to CA Adventure and Disneyland for 3 days straight. It was a total blast, but the trip was in NO WAY relaxing. We got to ride a ton of rides, and Dirty Job hit past the 42" mark this trip, so he got to add more adventure to his riding schedule!

More excitingly, my favorite sweets shop (the one next to Winnie the Pooh Ride) in Disneyland now carries CUPCAKES in small, medium, and large...SO FUN. SO YUM. Also, I had Dole's Pineapple Whip every day we were there. Complete deliciousness.

Even better than that (I didn't think it could GET better), I got to be with my nephew on his first Disney trip. I could just eat that boy up, I love him so. He had my ovaries flip flopping (which is NOT good - but that's another post), and I just miss him so much. He is a total cutie pie and such a joy to be with. I wanted to pack him UP.

We don't do Fall in these parts.

After today, this is very clear to me. I wish I had a picture of our adventure to the pumpkin patch. Bff and I took the freak show to the pumpkin patch today. It was one of those where you walk out into the field and pick your pumpkin. Slim pickens being that we waited until Oct 27. But, the kids didn't really care.

So I give them the big rule, "Only pick a pumpkin that you can carry, because we can't carry it for you." Dirty Jobs immediately picks up a large pumpkin and stumbles his way through the rest of the pumpkin patch. This worked out well for me, because it gave me an advantage in keeping up with him on the rough terrain. Dinoboy and What Not to Wear are in a contest as to who can find the more perfect pumpkin. Cutie mostly screamed at everyone because she couldn't keep up.
5 of the 6 of us were wearing flip flops with one wearing crocs. Two kids are in pajamas and the rest of us are in shorts. Clearly, we were wearing our best fall gear to tackle the pumpkin fields. But, have I mentioned that we live on the surface of the sun? And even on Oct 27, it is still shorts and flip flops weather.

Everyone found a pumpkin that they liked. In the meantime, Bff began itching from the field grass, Cutie lost her shoes in the shuffle and got little stickers in her feet and the biggest two were sure that we all knew that their pumpkins were the very best.

It was a super fun time in which many memories were made.

This is the good stuff.

Always on time

Yesterday, at church, I felt such refreshing to my spirit. During worship, I was reminded that our God is always right on time. Even when we doubt His timing, it is always perfect. In fact, I believe it is especially when we doubt, that He makes it clear that He is right on time.

I have been living in worry. Now, in the world's eyes, I have much to worry about. But, I have One who lives in me that transcends worry. And frankly, I haven't been acting like it. I have been carrying my worry around in my back pocket. I ignore it much of the time, but lately, as times get harder, I pull it out and look at it. I talk to it, I stare at it, I practically hug it's neck. Friends and family like to pull it out as well, and remind me of my situation.

But, this morning, I laid it at His feet. I was reminded of His promise to never leave me or forsake me. So, I left it there. And I felt a lightness that I haven't felt in a while.


Now, 17hours later, I am awakened in the middle of the night, and worry has again flooded my soul. I am throwing myself at His feet begging Him for that peace that transcends understanding. Because, honestly, I can't understand right now. I can't see a way. But, I know that is when the miracles come.

Friends, please pray with me that I can leave this worry there. That I will trust Him, more than I will see our circumstances. And, more than anything else, that this experience will remind me of God's sovereignty.

Right.on.time.

I will be clinging to these verses for a while:
Hebrews 13:5. Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."

Phillipians 4:7. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Pictures from the Zoowalk

These were the best zoowalkers out of the bunch. Minus one. One friend no longer wanted to feel as if the paparazzi were up in his space. Dirty Job had some supportive friends!

My hubs was so proud that our team name was printed on the shirt for raising over $1,000. Go team!!!

Quit messin'

This pregnancy thing is messing with my head. I know that every pregnancy is different, and I believe that, but apparently, somewhere in the dark crevices of my mind, I didn't. With Cutie, I felt good, could eat what I wanted and I carried her small up until the last few months (when I blew up like the Stay-Puff Marshmallow Man).

Well, enter baby #2... Trace amount of cheese has me nauseous all day. And my stomach, it is a temperamental thing. Even water makes me nauseous...sometimes. I ate a bagel for breakfast yesterday, fine. Today, not so much. Now, I am really trying not to complain, because this baby is a blessing and the nausea signals a strong pregnancy, but this is my blog, and at Crying Moms, we will cry if we want to :) Frankly, the stomach is an annoyance, but I can deal.

However, last night, my hubs was taking me out for a date night. (This is the part where it starts messing with me.) I am standing in our closet, tearing through each and every pair of pants I own. Major Hunk walks in as I am sliding (err, stuffing) myself into the last pair. He looks at me and says, "I love you, but that is not going to work. Can I get your maternity clothes from the garage?" I concede. But, I was seriously mad about it. Not at him, but at my body for rebelling at such an early point. I slipped on some cute maternity jeans, thanks to my friend, T and her three pregnancies. I really did feel better. Except that I am still holding onto a little animosity that I am wearing maternity pants only 2 weeks after finding out I am pregnant.

So go ahead and leave me comments telling me that it's completely normal, I am not some pregnant circus freak, and that it will level off at some point and I am not destined to weigh 742 pounds at the end of this...

Because, what are friends good for, if they won't lie to you when you need it.

Totally kidding.

Well, mostly.

Zoowalkin'

We woke up at the crack of dark this morning, for a very good reason. We did the Zoowalk, which is a fundraiser for the the Autism Research Institute and ASU. I am very, very excited to say that our team was able to raise over $1,300! GO TEAM!!!

This is our second year doing the walk. It's a very emotional event for me. I tear up watching groups pose for pictures. I also teared up while standing in the registration line to turn in our money and I shed a tear or two when I saw our team name printed on the Zoowalk shirt. All teams raising over $1,000 get printed on the shirt. My camera is broken, but some sweet friends who walked took some pictures. I will be posting some once I get them.

I'll share more later, but I just wanted to share my excitement and give a SHOUT OUT to all the people who gave, walked, prayed and celebrated not only my boy, but all kids with autism. Your support makes all the difference!

Have I mentioned?

My little girl is getting so big. My husband says I always say that. But really, look at the proof.
The bottle: so 2 years ago.
The crib: At least a year ago.
Onesies: a thing of the past.
And, in the past few months, she has completely given up diapers and even, her last holdout, the binky.

Those were the last "baby" things that she had. It makes me a little nostalgic. But, my baby, well, she's not a baby anymore. She got all my first parenting moments. She's the one who was there with me for my very first day of on-the-job-training. (Sorry about that Cutie.) Oh the tears, they seemed non-stop. And she cried too.

And I guess I need to try to stop calling her my baby, since that title will soon belong to another.

Yep, we're pregnant.

Shopping anyone?

I just pulled out Dirty Jobs winter wear. I had already passed some of it along when I had packed it up, so I had only saved what I thought may fit him this fall.

Silly, silly me.

There's not even a little chance that he'll be wearing anything in that box. Unless, of course, midriff shirts and capris are in style for the 3 year old boy circuit.

Maybe in Europe, but not a chance in this family.

a random update

As you read in the previous post, I was out of town last week. So rather than an all too lengthy post, I thought I would give you a quick update instead.

You're welcome.

• So many thanks to the Racer for offering to keep the Cutie for a whole week while we were away. Even more thanks for loving her while we were gone. Your family is precious and so generous to welcome her to be a part of it. And so many thanks for the encouragement in getting her off the binky. This has been a huge sigh of relief in our home!
• This is one special girl I have. She pretty much potty trained herself and decided she was done with the binky. Apparently, lazy parenting can pay off if your child has the right personality :)
• As for the above, I am totally kidding. I know that she just has one of those personalities where she won't even consider doing something until it is her own idea. I wonder where she gets that from...
• The training we were at last week allows my husband and I to begin teaching a really wonderful curriculum to other couples at marriage retreats through our military branch. We were blessed to attend such retreat as participants, and are very excited to be given the opportunity to teach it to others.
• My bff is really amazing. She has had to face life in ways that I hope no one else ever has to. Yet, she still has enough grace and love to share with the many around her. She is beautiful inside and out.
• Just when I was starting to feel as though I have a handle on my two new, part-time commitments, I will begin working part time at our state fair this week. That along with some new developments should send me back into the state of overwhelmed. But, it's ok, because I may get some extra time with the bff this month.
• As last, but possibly the most important, is a fashion update. In case you were needing an outfit to wear to your local fair this year, the Cutie has a suggestion:

In case you can't quite make out what you are seeing, she is wearing some really colorful tights, her pink croc-like shoes, her bathing suit (of course), and a hoodie for warmth.
It's quite possibly her most memorable ensemble to date. We were turning lots of heads.

I hope I left you with a smile.

The + One Factor

Cpt Mom is away. And I have her girl. I am having an absolute blast with her. She is sassy as all get out...and when I say sassy, I mean it in the cutest, most adorable way.

Cutie is all sorts of big. Tomorrow, we are having a too big for the binkie party. Cupcakes with pink sprinkles are on the menu. She threw one of her binkies in the trash today. I thought I'd have to fish it out of the garbage tonight. Nope. She was only sad for a short while this evening, never asking for her binkie, but rather for her mom. It was completely precious.

Having her here is so much fun. It is such a great reminder to cherish every moment with my children. They were once her age, and now...well, they are big.

As Cpt tackles the business world this week, I'll be tackling 3 kids. While she has to restock her wardrobe because of lost luggage, I get to throw on my gym clothes and play at the park. Don't get me wrong, not even a little...what Cpt is doing this week is VERY important. VERY valid. VERY needed. VERY MUCH of the Lord. I'm just lucky I get to fill in the gap with her Cutie and be reminded of how amazing my own two are as well. My heart is very, very full.

Do you prefer Fall or Autumn?

I don't know about you, but when I think Fall, I think of colorful leaves, pumpkins, long sleeved shirts, brisk air and hot drinks.

I just discovered that Fall officially began Sept 23. Umm, I don't remember exactly what I did on Sept 23, but I am certain that it didn't include any of those things. In fact, it is safe to say it included things like air-conditioning, shorts and large Sonic drinks over ice.

Yesterday I was at the Racer's house and I said, "It is not even hot outside, I am going to take the kids to the park." She said, "I know, I turned off the air conditioner." So, as you can see, we are finally getting a taste of this thing called Autumn.

Oh, in case you were wondering ... It was 93 degrees here yesterday.

In God I Trust.

In case you haven't heard, we are in some economic hardship these days. And, if you hadn't heard, please go ahead and crawl out of the cave you have been living in.

I was having a conversation with my husband recently about the possibility of a bailout plan. Now, I don't claim to actually know what all this means or entails. I have only heard a few analyst's opinions as to what this could mean for our economic future. One of them is we will suffer from inflation. The other is we could end up in a depression. As I thought about these two options, two thoughts entered my mind: 1. I am so glad my Gramma is not here to see this. 2. What would a depression in this country actually look like?

As for #1: My grandmother lived through the Great Depression. Once into more stable economic times, my gramma began stocking up on all things imaginable, just in case. She had a basement full of things. Freezers full of food. The only thing she didn't buy in bulk was toilet paper. One basement flood years before brought that life lesson. Of course, in my youth, I thought she was a little overboard. But, once she shared her stories, it was understood. It didn't matter how crazy people thought she was, my gramma was never going to be caught in a situation where she and her family didn't have food to eat. I think, if she were alive today, she would have much fear. I am thankful that she is with the Lord now. I wonder if He gets to hear her stories now?

As for #2: I have a difficult time trying to figure what people mean when they talk about a modern day depression. Do they mean like in the 1930's? When people struggled to survive. When some even died. Because if this is where our country is headed, I think we will have, well, approximately 3 billion people who are going to be surprised. We live in a country where many people live paycheck to paycheck. Even those who are struggling financially often have a car, home, cell phones and food. As a whole, we don't know how to grow our own food, do laundry by hand, or hunt and gather for our meals. So, based on the stories of my gramma, I wonder, "What would a depression in America in the 21st century look like?"

Now, don't get me wrong: I am hoping to never find out.

But, wherever our country is headed, I am going to trust the only One who can get us through it.

The Lord has provided greatly for our family. He is not swayed by the economy. I know He will continue to provide even when that means we have to make sacrifices. Thank you, Lord for your faithfulness.

A shopping we will go...

I took the Cutie and another little girly-girl with me to the grocery store this morning. It was going so well, I decided to tackle another store where I prefer the produce. You know the kind, an all-natural type place. Their produce is good and it's cheaper as well. Wednesday is double ad day, so they honor this week and last week's sales. Wednesdays are always crowded. And it is usually frequented by the over-60 crowd at 10am.

I have had many an experience at this store where I feel like the grandparently types are judging me as if their kids were nothing but perfect angels. There's not a lot of room between aisles and my girl tends to wander a little. She always stays close by, but tends to look at the ground when she walks. This causes her to walk in from of other's carts on a regular basis. It has warranted us many a dirty looks.

All this background to say that all the grandparently types we met today were all so sweet to me and the girls. The Cutie was again wearing her bathing suit (inside out for a different look) and of course, carrying her purse. Many stopped to talk to the girls and a gentleman in a wheelchair asked them to come over by him so he could talk to them. As we made a mad dash with our cart for a potty trip, I was trying to juggle both girls and my purse and get the cart out of the way, etc. A sweet little gramma headed over and held the door open so I could assist one without dragging everything else in with us. She then told me about her own little girls who have now grown up and made her a gramma to 8.

It was such a sweet exchange. And a productive grocery trip.

A successful day, for sure!