My Friend

I must tell you, I have great friends. Really great friends who love me and love my family. I have friends who pray for me, friends who laugh with me and even friends who laugh at me. But, throughout this deployment, I have been given the opportunity to see how friends react to a long-term, stressful situation. I had friends who came out in full force last year and now dwindled. I have friends who will babysit my daughter and even will keep her overnight. I have friends who don't know what to say. I have many friends who offered to help and have never followed through. I have friends who are very concerned about me and how I am doing when they see me, but are too busy to call. I have friends who take my daughter and even will keep her overnight (can you tell how meaningful this one is to a tired mom?). I have friends who pray for me. I even have made friends who are going through this same experience with me. I have experienced many times of gratitude and some disappointment throughout the past 17 months. I am so thankful that I understand that as humans we are going to let each other down. I don't think it is personal when a friend disappoints me, but it often feels very much so. I know we do the best we can and that we all fall short because of our human nature. I truly believe that my God is the only one who will never let me down. Now, I am not saying that I have not had some big, fat pity parties over disappointments. Yes, I have indeed. In fact, I am even battling with one this evening. But, I know that the enemy likes to use that tactic to push me into a defeated attitude. In our message at church this morning, the pastor challenged us to "stand in victory" over the one who tries to defeat us. So, I am ready to dust off the disappointments and stand.

I have to brag a little about the Racer here. She has really shown me what a friend is. She goes so far beyond the typical friend. She really puts feet to her friendship. Let me give you a few examples (or 12):

• She prays for my family.
  
• I can always count on her to babysit and she always acts like it is a pure joy to do so. And she does offer to keep her overnight :)
  
• She asks me about my husband.
• She is the only one who has volunteered to do child care for our monthly Family Group meetings and she puts up with the udder chaos and sweltering heat in the armory all so we moms can have a couple of hours to meet and not worry about our children. And she comes every month!
• She loves those kids (behavior problems, crying and all) and she prays for them.
• She has spent hours and hours organizing my house when I have become too overwhelmed to do it. She offers to do this so willingly knowing that organization is not her first, or her second, or her 22nd love.
• She encourages me in all I do.
• She laughs with me and at me.
• She lets me laugh at her.
• She doesn't judge me. She takes me right where I am each and every time.
• She challenges me to be a better wife, mom and friend just by living her life.
  
• And most of all, she lets me in to her life too. It is all well and good to have friends who are there to help you through a crisis. But, when the crisis is over, it lacks depth. The Racer is not that friend. She trusts me enough to be vulnerable. She invites me into her family and allows me the opportunity to pray for her, her husband and her beautiful children.

For those of you who read this and do not know her personally, I wanted to allow you a glimpse into the Amazing Racer. As you can see, it is not just her racing that is amazing.

Thank you Lord for the friends you have brought into my life. I know that each and every one has a purpose. I know that each encounter provides me opportunity for me to know You better. Thank you for friends who sharpen me. Thank you for Your hands and feet extended to me during this trying time. May I never forget the lessons I have learned about friendship and may I use them to be a better friend tomorrow. In the precious name of Jesus. Amen.

food issues

I went out with a couple of friends last night for a most scrumptious dinner. We had a great evening of chatting, tropical fruit iced tea and food. The tropical iced tea at the Cheesecake Factory really is the best. As I bit into our shared meal, I had a moment. Really, I did. A moment in which I knew that I have some deep rooted food issues. I think the feelings I had toward that orange chicken was a little adulterous, people. Overall, I think I did pretty well with my eating. We had a super yummy dinner and some delicious cheesecake, but by splitting it 3 ways, I think I kept my points under control. I dipped into my extra weekly points, but as my leader says, "that's what they are there for". So, on one hand, I can see growth in food choices and portion control. But, on the other hand, I discovered I may need a little bit of therapy for my love of food.

A Blog Worthy Trip

Oh, people. If only you could've been there. I'm not sure if I can capture the essence of our trip to get running shoes. However, you may have heard us around the world.

Cpt Mom and I went to buy running shoes today. We went after nap time, so you'd think we could've tried on a few pairs of shoes, picked one out, paid and left. That is most definitely not how the trip went down. I had five year old mean spirited, whiny, try to guilt trip a toddler girl and screaming for no good reason boy with me. What should've been headache less turned into a period of time that I wish I was a crack smoker so I wasn't so flipped out at the behavior of my children. All of this bad behavior came after I had already been insulted about my job as a mom/wife and I seriously yelled at my kids in the store. Not my best moment, peeps. We're home now and I still have not recovered. I'm not sure what to do with this day!

I guess all I can do is be thankful that I got new shoes that I am pretty sure are good for my stride, but I can't be sure. And I am most positively looking forward to a stress burning run in the morning. Nothing says shake it off like 6.5 miles...except, of course, cheesecake, Starbucks, or death by chocolate cake.

We're coming out!

Yes, I know the title could be misconstrued, but it is what we're doing. We are putting a face to our writings. Later we'll put a more appealing face to our blogs, but for now, we chose a picture that reflects how we feel - a little too much for alot of people. Go ahead and begin envying out beauty now. This picture was taken at the thug wedding. Consequently, there was a ton of laughter and some SWEET moves on the dance floor. Yes, we can even create fun in the craziest of circumstances. We are literally the people you point and laugh at. The greatest thing about being us though, is that we don't care. We chicken dance, hand jived, electric slid and even added our own signature moves.

It was an interesting food/exercise week. My sis was in town, we had a school carnival, a zoowalk and a trip to my favorite BBQ place. I did my long run on Friday, but didn't exercise Sunday or Monday. I ran last night, which was fantastic, and then I tried to run this morning to get myself on schedule. Let me tell you, if you run at 6pm one night and try to run at 7am the next day, it feels like you are going to die. I ended up changing my workout to a walk/Phoebe run (also known as AI training). I hope to get back on track tomorrow with a good run and an upper body/ab workout on Friday before our 6.5 mile run Saturday.

Alrighty...here's the official weigh in.

Last week: 134.5

This week: 133.5

Total Loss: 34.5 lbs

I didn't take my new measurements, though I got my old ones from Cpt Mom. So I want to do that this week. And she and I have plans to get new shoes tomorrow or Friday, so that we don't kill ourselves. My other goal is to stay on track with my eating, as my parents are visiting from out of town this weekend. I'm hoping my Dad will cook up somethings scrumptious, as he is MY FAVORITE chef. Of course, why wouldn't he be? His main ingredients typically include garlic and butter. Aaaaahhhhhhhhh.

TFTS Weigh In

Well, another week. I weighed in last night and discovered I had gained .2 lb. Really, I am happy with that. When I reflect back on the week, it was well earned. I did not write down my points most of the week, I made some poor choices and I upped my diet soda consumption by at least double- consequently, my water intake was about half. Oh and I did no exercise.

At our meeting last night, we discussed diets. Our leader was asking what do we think of when he says the word "diet"? These were the responses: starvation, deprivation, depression, temporary. As we discussed each of them, a conversation I had earlier in the week came to mind. It went something like this:
Me: "Wow, you are looking good, how much weight have you lost?"
Friend: "Only 15 lbs. I thought it would come off faster."
Me: "15 lbs. That's great. You haven't been doing this very long."
Friend: "A month. 15 lbs in a month."
Me: "Don't be frustrated, that is fast. Do you know how long is took me to lose 15 lbs?"
Friend: "Yeah, but you weren't eating cardboard."

I thought this was a great illustration of what I have been learning at Weight Watchers. The "diet thing" has really never worked for me. As soon as I tell myself, "You can't have this, this and this. You can only have this, this and this," I am doomed. I have a rebellious enough spirit that as soon as I hear "forbidden", I become focused. Focused on the food I am not supposed to eat. Pretty soon I am thinking about that food as my most favorite, can't live without it food. And then, the inevitable, I eat it, a lot of it. Then I feel like a failure and I go and medicate myself with more food. This is usually where my diets come to die.

I shared in a previous post about making lifetime, lifestyle changes. If I am in this for the long haul (which I am), it doesn't/shouldn't matter how long it takes me to get there. If I look at my goal weight as the finish line, I am destined to balloon back up again. Once I reach that, there is no need for hard work anymore...I will have arrived. So, all this to say that I am thankful that I have been able to stay focused on this being a lifetime commitment. Without that, I would be bitter about the slow weight loss, no matter how fast it was coming off.

Goals for this week:
Get back on my training program now that my foot seems to be doing better.
Get out my tracker. Write in it.
Get back to more water, less soda.

Beginning weight: 188.4
Current weight: 167.8
This week: +.2

News Flash

Umm, it's October. It could stop being so stinkin hot now. As in RIGHT NOW! We had a minor cooling trend, but it was just to trick me into thinking I could wear a long sleeve tee with shorts in the early am. Seriously, can I blame the young people for dressing immodestly when it's 87,000 degrees out? If I had a rockin bod, you'd better believe I'd at least be contemplating it, even if I never actually dressed that way.

And in other non changing life events...

Cpt Mom and I stayed up WAY TOO LATE last night. My humor maturity is at an all time low. I laughed as I talked. I couldn't complete sentences because I was cracking myself up for no reason at all. Maybe Cpt Mom dropped acid in the dinner she so wonderfully prepared yesterday. Everything was ridiculously funny to me. It's really embarrassing what she has to endure, ya all. One of our friends once speculated that we laugh so much to cope with stress, which I immediately dismissed. But last night at 2:15am I was up and pondering that statement, thinking about what that would mean for our friendship once Major Hunk gets back, because she'll be significantly less stressed (or just stressed in a million other ways, but I'm believing she will be less stressed). If the coping statement is true, we would essentially have to stop being friends. Because she would then realize VERY QUICKLY that I am, in fact, the poster child for what happens when people who should be in therapy don't actually go to therapy. All of her laughter with me would soon be directed at me for being a total whack job. Which I am, but she doesn't know that yet. She still finds humor in my mystalking ways and the way we talk about our favorite boggers like they are our BFFs.

Today ought to be a fun day to get through. It started with approximately 4 hours of sleep and a daughter who didn't want to wake up and then wanted to wear dirty clothes to school. We'll see how it goes once she's out of school this afternoon. The day could end up with me in the fetal position flapping/hugging imaginary people, laughing about farts.